Here are the top 5 things men look for in a woman, according to dating experts at Project Soulmate.

Are you struggling in your dating life? Can’t seem to figure out why you can’t find “the one”?

1. Confidence

The most common thing men look for in a woman is confidence. Just as women are attracted to confident men, men love to see that a woman has confidence in herself. Confidence is attractive and sexy because it shows a guy that you know what you want not only for yourself, but also from others.

Men want to know that a woman has faith in herself and in them, because it shows them that you are confident in the relationship and its future.

Image credit: Cade Hildreth

2. Independence

For the second thing most men tell us they look for in a woman, we have the ability to be independent. They love a woman that can hold her own. He wants to know that you want him, but you don’t necessarily need to rely on him. Independence is key to any relationship.

It is important to have your own life in order to maintain a healthy and stable relationship. In other words, he doesn’t want you clinging to him every second of the day to do things with you. The last thing anyone should be in a relationship is needy. So, work on being independent because at the end of the day it’s good for both of you and will lead to a healthier, long-lasting relationship.

3. A Challenge

blog pic 3Next, we often hear men looking for a challenge in a woman. Everyone loves a challenge, especially men.

It is endearing to a man when he has to work to try to figure a woman out. Guys love to learn more about a woman as the relationship progresses, so don’t air out all your dirty laundry on the first couple of dates; make him wait for it.

He wants to know that there is more to you than he already knows, and there probably is, so tell him at the right time not just any time. Therefore ladies, give him a little challenge and leave him wanting more both intellectually and physically.

4. Complexity

Fourth, men look for a little complexity in a woman. How many men have you heard say they are looking for a simple woman? A woman with complexity has many layers to peel.  Like anything in life, it’s important to be versatile and good at different things. Men like to know that their woman is a bunch of women rolled into one.

He doesn’t want you to only be smart or only be hard working. He wants you to be smart, hardworking, cute, and caring all in one. Now, we are not saying that you have to be superwoman, but every woman has multiple interesting personality traits and habits, and he wants to see that in you. Getting to know you will be exciting and unpredictable. You have a variety of strengths, so show him that.

5. A Good Attitude

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Last and most important, men look for a woman with a good attitude. Every guy loves a woman who has a positive outlook on life. Men want a woman who is fun, positive, and who enjoy doing things. No one wants to be with someone who is always creating drama, in a bad mood or negative about things because quite frankly, it’s no fun.

Obviously everyone has bad times and times where they simply need to be grumpy, but being grumpy and being a grump are two different things. Someone once told me, “A positive attitude changes everything,” and there is nothing more true. If you go into something thinking you are going to succeed or have a positive attitude about it, I can almost guarantee you the outcome will be a good one.

Always remember, if you want your relationship to succeed, have a positive attitude because at the end of the day, don’t we all just want to be happy together?


Written by our awesome past-intern, Nicole Hartley   |  Edited By: Jane Rudes, Director of Online Services.


Did you know that Project Soulmate offers online dating expertise?

We help clients make winning online dating profiles and rise above common online dating struggles.

We pick the best photos for your profile and put together a professionally written summary that will get you more dates. We also offer natural looking pro-photography, coaching and account management services for any online dating account. Click here for more info! Or Contact Us and ask!

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