Welcome to our Online Dating Profile Do’s and Don’t series: ONLINE DATING GENIUS, where we lay it all out for you…the good the bad and the really, really bad profile tricks people try to deploy when they think they are slick but very much are not.
For this tip, we are going to talk about another important DON’T in your online dating profile: THE POSSE PIC. You know, that picture with your gal-pals, your bros, your posse, your squad, your homies. The one where you show off all your friends.
We call these types of people “beauty blenders”. They love being in group pictures because it’s kind of like being in a choir; people can’t really tell if you have a terrible voice when there are so many other people harmonizing with you. The beauty blender’s online profile is filled with pictures of friends, family, and coworkers. It’s like playing a game of “I Spy” in trying to figure out who the dating profile actually belongs to. In many cases, you can’t even really see what the person looks like because the pictures from that night out with the crew are dark, blurry, and crowded. These pics are a Capital NO!
We get it: you may be shy – too shy – to ask someone to take a picture of just you. Maybe you really do look your best when you’re a floating head behind your BFF’s shoulders. Whatever your reason is; this is a huge mistake for your online dating profile.
For starters, it’s too confusing. You are one of 5 girls in the picture all with brown hair and a drink in your hand. Stop making it a guessing game for the person viewing your online dating profile. If you truly love the way you look in the picture, crop everyone out or add a comment that pinpoints exactly which brunette you are. The focus should be on you, not your posse.
Meanwhile, do your friends even know that they’re on a dating website? Not everyone is thrilled with the idea of their image spreading throughout the internet without their knowledge. Not only is it creepy, it’s also highly inappropriate (especially if it’s a drunk selfie).
Lastly, it’s deceiving. You may have taken “if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,” a little too seriously. The spice girls were all jaw droppingly gorgeous movie stars (not saying that you’re not pretty in pink as well) but, what if the person behind the computer screen is actually falling for your friend instead of you? Is this part of your master plan? You wouldn’t want someone going on a date with you just in hopes to meet your cute friends, would you?
Online dating profile smoke and mirrors are never the way to go. Eventually, the person will figure out that you’re not who you claim to be. Be honest and you will find people who truly want to date you for you.
One – maybe two – group pictures with friends’ faces blurred is acceptable. It paints a picture of a social butterfly who is likeable and fun. But once you pass a third – strike, you’re out. Bottom line is many people are already hesitant about dating online because of the lack of face to face. So in order to ease their search efforts, you need to show yours! Group photos are a concrete example of poor online dating profile etiquette.
Written by Christina Madera
Edited by Jane Rudes
Christina Madera was once our hilariously bright Business and Communications Intern.
Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant as well as the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with interested prospective online clients about their online profile and other common online dating woes.
Did you know that Project Soulmate offers more than expert matchmaking in NYC?
We can also help you decide on the best photos for your online dating profile, and offer professional profile writing, photography, communication coaching and account management services for your online dating accounts. Click here for more info! Or Contact Us and ask!
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