Welcome to Online Dating Genius: A blog series brought to you by the dating experts at your favorite NYC Matchmaking Service, Project Soulmate! In each post we will reveal another “do-not” dating site profile tip.
If you online date, you will relate.
What’s Your Game?
Let’s get real for a second, okay? What is your intention when making the decision to upload that photo of you and that cute baby that isn’t even yours into your online dating profile? You do know that you’re on a dating site, not your facebook page, right? So why did you think that this random baby would make an important impression upon 100’s of strangers; a small fraction of whom you might be interested in dating?
We think we get it. You want kids? You are great with kids! Babies love you, thus your matches will love you, too! You will make a great parent someday, therefore highlighting you as more desirable than other matches lacking random not-their-baby pics.
Not your intention? We’re way off? Ok we’ve got it…you think that cute baby makes you look cuter? It works at the party/beach/park like a charm. You walk around with your friend’s adorable baby and all the singles you hoped would notice you earlier, now flock to you and say “Oh she is sooooo cute! Is she yours?” To which you coyly reply, “No, she’s my buddy’s, but she loves me more,” to which they laugh, breathing a sigh of relief and immediately notice how cute (and available) YOU are!
Whatever your reason, it doesn’t typically play out this way on the other end of the dating site world. It generally looks more like this:
What Actually Happens…
This person has a BABY???? “Wait, it didn’t say he has kids. WTF… Ugh, I bet he didn’t indicate that for searches since he’s never been married.” (Click / swipe away, new match suggestions pop up, new match suggestion looks pretty cute, click / swipe new match suggestion.) Remember, people don’t always read your photo captions talking about how much you love your new nephew. Even if they do, it can backfire. Sometimes it plays out like this: “She’s cute but this pic of her with her sister’s baby probably means she’s really wants a baby…. like now. Yikes, I’ve already met too many women in a rush.” (Click to next match.) We’ve already declared how we feel about kids in dating profile pics in general (hint…it’s also a NO), so when it’s someone else’s kid it’s an even bigger NO.
It’s OK, We Get It.
We know dating online can be a downer. You’re just trying to do whatever you can to stand out, attract the right person, catch a break. Everyone is in the same boat; we hear these complaints daily and have seen all that you probably go through during one of our past online dating client sessions. Whatever the gender of our client, younger or older, with or without kids…everyone has very valid gripes.
There are many great strategies to dating online successfully. However, using a random baby that’s not your baby to attract someone, isn’t one of them. Hence, the Not-Your-Baby photo choice is a DO NOT in online dating profile photo selection.
Written by Jane Rudes
Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant as well as the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with interested prospective online clients about their online profile and other common online dating woes.
Did you know that Project Soulmate offers more than expert matchmaking in NYC?
We can also help you decide on the best photos for your online dating profile, and offer professional profile writing, photography, communication coaching and account management services for your online dating accounts. Click here for more info! Or Contact Us and ask!