Nailing The First Impression

UnknownThat’s it! You’ve done it! You’ve successfully weeded through all of the creeps, weirdos, and catfish that you matched with to find a semi-normal human being out there in the online dating universe. You are now well on your way to finding love in NYC. Congratulations, you’ve made it further than most. Now it’s time to take your dating to the next level and go out IRL, and you don’t need an expert matchmaker to tell you that making a good first impression is the most important part of meeting up. Here are a few quick tips for nailing the first impression.


Picking a place to meet can be difficult. The location you suggest can say a lot about you before you and your match meet. With that in mind, try to choose somewhere between your two locations that you wouldn’t be ashamed to be associated with. Remember, the decor, clientele, and menu prices will reflect on you.


Guys, make sure to show up exactly on time, if not five minutes early. Girls, be sure not to show up more than three minutes late, if not exactly on time. Timeliness shows that you respect the other person. Especially if you’re dating in NYC, it’s always better to be too early and wait in the coffee shop across the street than to rush in thirty minutes late because of traffic only to find their seat has been vacated–or worse, filled by someone else.


Any expert matchmaker will tell you appearances matter. The first thing someone sees is what you’re wearing. Your clothes and how you put them together say a lot about you that you don’t realize. Ladies, six inch heels and leather pants can scream “high maintenance” while guys, a beanie and flannel may proclaim “freelancing hipster.” So if that’s the statement you’re looking to make, by all means go for it but be aware of what your clothes say about you.


Most importantly, have fun and smile! The best way to make a first impression is to allow your most positive attitude to shine through. Even if you make the other person travel across town, show up late, and look like a bum, any date can be saved by a sense of humor and a winning personality. People like people who are enjoyable to be around, it’s as simple as that.

Written by Joyce Cohen

Dating in NYC: Quick Dates for the New York Foodie

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While it might be tricky to find love in NYC, finding good food is not. Yet dinner dates can be intimidating, so our matchmaking team has found some sweet spots that will make dating in NYC a little easier. Here is what we found:

For the sweet tooth:

  • City Bakery- Come here to warm up with a cup of their rich hot chocolate. And if the date is going well, stroll down to the Rubin Museum of Art and check out their latest exhibit.
  • Momofoku Milk Bar- Go for some creamy treats or even try their crack pie. If time is going by too quickly, take a walk over to union square.
  • The Donut Pub- Don’t be fooled by its casual vibe, the Donut Pub is filled with sweet surprises, literally. Still want a little something else? Walk over to Chelsea Market and explore the different shops.
  • Pop Bar- Looking to cool down? Pop bar’s “gelato on a stick” will change the way you think of a popsicle. And once it melts, walk down to Washington Square Park to keep the conversation going.

For something a little more savory:

  • Black Seed Bagels- Experience the famous New York bagel by trying Blackseed’s fresh and filling sandwiches. Once you are done, window-shop while strolling through the streets of Soho.
  • Mimi Cheng’s Dumplings- Take a trip to Taiwan by biting into the dumplings served at Mimi Cheng’s. Not done yet? Catch a movie across the street at the Village East Cinema.
  • Eataly- Just like Italy, Eataly is like a little slice of heaven. Walk around their large Italian market and take a peek at their large variety of delicious dishes. Once you’re done, head over to Madison Square Park and admire the surrounding buildings.
  • The Melt Shop- This little shop will have you reconsidering the simplicity of grilled cheese by stuffing their sandwiches with delicious twists. If you’re in their Financial District shop, follow it up with a walk on the Brooklyn Bridge. And if you are at their Midtown location, walk around Fifth Ave and check out the art at the MOMA.

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Marriage: Told by Three Generations

Successful Marriage
In the midst of this 21st century world of dating in New York and marriages, it seems so common for people to break-up or get divorced. But why? I’ve been trying to figure out why this seems to happen so frequently now a days because 1. It’s interesting, and 2. I want to avoid it happening to me! So I thought it would be cool for the relationship experts over at Project Soulmate to see how three different generations would answer this simple question: What are five things that make a successful marriage?

I asked this question to my sister who has recently been married, to my mother who has been married to my dad for 27 years, and to my grandma who was married to my grandpa for 57 years until his passing. Now I’m not saying any of them are relationship experts, but they’ve definitely got some experience under their belt. I was not sure what kind of responses I would get, if they’d be identical or drastically different, but I thought that either way it could give some insight into the difficult world of marriage. So here are their answers, word for word. Check them out and see what you think; I mean I might’ve just hacked the secret for a long-lasting marriage

Successful Marriage

Celeste – 26 Years Old, Newlywed

  1. Communication
  2. Doing things together, but also having alone time
  3. Supporting one another’s goals
  4. Being able to make the other laugh, like singing “fireflies” by Owl City
  5. SEX

Tara – 54 Years Old, Married for 27 Years and Counting

  1. Take Care of yourself/stay in shape/exercise; and if you are a stay at home mom, still fix your hair and put on your makeup
  2. Send gifts/flowers etc. to his work or place of business, just because, not because you are apologizing for something
  3. Have time separate from each other – encourage guy trips/girl trips with friends
  4. When it comes to household finances get and stay on the same page
  5. Sit down to dinner together whenever possible… Even if it means eating at odd times
  6. Always have time for him, ask yourself; “If my best friend form high school walked in the door, would I be too tiredSuccesful Marriage to do something with her?”

Marietta – 79 Years Old, Married for 57 Years

  1. Have to be agreeable when raising your children, when you punish them and everything
  2. Considerate of each other, not selfish
  3. Have to love each other
  4. Willing to wait on them, to take care of them in sickness or in health
  5. Go to church together


After going through their answers, they did seem to be very different, but also had some general things that matched. For example, they all agree that communication is very important, whether it is about finances or raising kids, you and your hubby/wifey need to communicate and be on the same page. Another one that stuck out most to me, was how important it is to make time for one another, and to definitely not be selfish when it comes to your relationship. It might seem ridiculous, and there’s clearly no science behind it, but I think these tips could be really useful. If nothing else, I can assure you that these people, no matter how long it’s been, are still very in love; so that’s enough science for me!

The first thing on your agenda, though, is finding the guy/girl to even consider for marriage. And Project Soulmate knows just how to find them!!


Emily Stovall

“Date ‘Em Till You Hate ‘Em” And Other Actually Good Dating Tips You Hate

Everyone has that one aunt—or cousin, or mother’s friend, or friend’s mother, or nosy married acquaintance—who thinks a few dating tips makes them a relationship expert. That one person who is brimming with annoying platitudes and trite dating tips that don’t seem to be relevant to dating today, let alone dating in NYC. Here are some terrible pieces of advice I’ve gotten (some of which rhyme!) and why they aren’t actually that bad.

Don’t Say No Just Go

This dating tip is one I’ve always struggled with because sometimes you just know when you don’t like someone and not everyone who sets you up is going to be an expert matchmaker with perfect taste. But the truth is that you never know someone until you spend a few hours with them one on one. You need to give everyone (with in reason) a chance if you want to find love in NYC.

Date ‘Em Till You Hate Em

You hear this one and ask yourself, shouldn’t you keep dating them because you like them not because you don’t hate them? It’s perfectly fine to be unsure of your feelings when first dating someone but, until you feel one way or the other about them it’s worth it to follow this dating tip and keep giving them a shot. You never know who may grow on you.

You Need To Go Out

Being single and being told to go out and “be seen” is by far one of the most irritating dating tips. Unless you’re working with a top matchmaker, you know you need to go out, how else are you going to meet people? But sometimes all of those people pretending to be relationship experts telling you how to live your life gets frustrating. You know what you need to do to meet people and that is: go out! You may not want to hear it or feel like it’s obvious but, sometimes the most obvious relationship advice is the best advice.

Just Have Fun!

Easier said than done right? Wrong, your bad attitude helps no one. When you’re dating, it’s important to remember this dating tip because the person across from you is in the same position as you: awkwardly trying to make conversation in the hopes of finding something more. The more you enjoy yourself, the more they will enjoy the date and the better the outlook will be for finding love in NYC.


Written By Joyce Cohen

Online Dating Genius: Cool Vacay, But I Don't Care

Online Dating Genius: The Travel Pics

Welcome to #6 of Online Dating Genius: A blog series brought to you by the online dating experts at your favorite NYC Matchmaking Service, Project Soulmate! Each post we will reveal another “do-not” in the world of online dating.

As usual, if you online date, you will relate!

Online Dating Genius: Cool Vacay, But I Don't Care

So, what is on the agenda this week? Hopefully not uploading too many pictures from your vacation to your online dating profile.

Picture this: the girl of your dreams has just gone through about 20 different online dating profiles, and after reading what each had to say about themselves (yes guys, females actually read every word), 8 stick out most and you made the cut! Problem is, on paper all 8 of you seem pretty similar because you each fit the criteria she entered into the search bar. Now she has to determine who she really wants to meet. How will she go about doing that? The same way you make that decision, from the photos! Luckily you have already passed the hard part – a really well written profile – but will she find you attractive enough? Will your pics make or break her decision?  Here is where your one-too-many vacation pics become a huge problem for your online dating profile.

Sure we all think your 30 day excursion to Hong Kong was awesome, you seem very worldly and fun to be with and we’re all really jealous, but (1) stop rubbing it in, and (2) did we really need 20 pics of your trip while we still barely know what your face looks like?! Are you offering Hong Kong itself? You can see the problem here. The tiebreaker between Other Guy and You has just been broken and you lost. Girl Of Your Dreams could not figure out what you look like and to make matters worse, now she thinks you are weird for posting all those random pics.

We’re not saying cut them out completely; sometimes they give your dating profile a little character and can set you apart. Just limit them to maybe one or two and ideally, you are in them. If not, include a caption about why that moment stood out to you. Show her who you are.  Either way, you must have a variety of good pics of yourself in the mix.

In the future, try to keep in mind that this is a dating website and not a social media website or Trip Advisor. People are looking for a potential date and often for the love of their life, not a travel agent. Why not show off all of your favorite vacation pictures after you and your new date get a little closer? Impress her by “friending” her on Facebook where she can look at your travel pics all she wants!

Don’t let these common mistakes discourage you, though. We know how tough online dating is, but there are so many other strategies that actually work in your favor. Covering your profile with vacation pictures is simply not one of them.

Project Soulmate is able to offer you helpful tips to make your online dating profile stand out from the crowd, and through our assistance with profile writing, photography, coaching, and account management services we make this whole “finding the love of my life” thing a piece of cake. Our professional matchmakers are always available and willing to help, just Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask!

Check out these Online Dating Genius previous posts: The Offspring Pic, The Bathroom Selfie, The Height Exaggeration, and The Hot Chick In Your Pic.

Find more good stuff here: Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

Emily Stovall

Emily Stovall is our powerhouse Marketing and Business Management Intern.

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant and the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. She is happy to answer questions for interested and prospective online clients regarding common online dating woes and what we can do for your online accounts.  

Relationship Advice: Is Long Distance Worth It?

Long Distance

Long distance… is it really worth it? Unfortunately I find myself asking this question way more often than I should. See the problem is, I have always stood by the idea that long distance will not work, but low and behold… I am in a long distance relationship right now. This has led me to question things like “what makes mine different,” or “why do I think mine will actually work;” and it made me realize certain factors that I think can help decide if long distance is really worth it or not.

I’ll start by explaining why I think long distance is not meant to be and why I believe it will not work. The main reason is because long distance means you completely lose the physical and tangible affection and enjoyment spent with a person when the relationship is solely connected by a phone or video chat. I think one of the best and most important parts of a relationship is the physical attraction felt by two people, and the pride each person feels when they get to be seen in public with their significant other. In a long distance relationship, however, it completely takes that aspect of a relationship away. I know it can be difficult to actually find love in NYC sometimes, so you don’t want to let it go, but after reading this hopefully you’ll be able to make the right decision for your relationship and maybe consider looking to some professional matchmakers for help!

So, with that in mind, here’s what you should think about if you are deciding whether or not to go on with this long distance relationship

The first factor is whether or not the relationship began on long distance or if it became long distance. If it is the first, meaning your entire relationship from talking to actually dating has been long distance, then I’m sorry I don’t think it is worth it, and it won’t work in the long run. Why? Because, whether we like to admit it or not, people are fake. I think if you are looking to actually settle down it is crucial to see how a person lives, but if youLong Distance have never even stepped foot on the front steps of their house, let alone even been inside, then you really cannot make true judgments on this person. You are unable to tell how they are in public, how social they are, or how smelly of a person they are and these are essential in determining the success of a relationship.

If your relationship was not long distance from the start, but became it due to some outside factor such as work or school (like me!), then I believe your relationship might have a chance! That’s right, I said might and the reason for that leads me to the next factor. This factor is whether or not you guys have set a deadline for each other. As I have stated before, I believe a physical connection is important, so the option of just remaining long distance forever after this point is not a good choice, in my opinion. I think it would be very beneficial for your relationship if you set a time frame, maybe like a year at the most, that can give you each a chance to determine if you can move to each other or if you should just move on from each other.

The last factor is travel. I’m sure this is a common occurrence while dating in New York, but sometimes people do not realize the problems it can have on a relationship. The issue is that Yay you have finally found Long Distancelove in New York, but now you’re not sure if it is working due to all of this travel for work. If your significant other seems to be traveling so much that you are beginning to feel out of touch with each other, perhaps you should ask if you could go with them every now and then. Do not interfere with their work, obviously, but studies have shown that going to sleep together every night can actually lead to a longer and healthier relationship, so try and make that happen! If you are not allowed to travel with them, then try to at least make their times back home very special. But, if these changes do not seem to be helping, then it may be time to cut your losses and move on.

It’s the hard truth, and sometimes the best choice is not always the easiest, but it has to be done. There are so many people in this world that if you can’t find a good guy, I know a couple people that can help… You might have heard of them… does Project Soulmate ring a bell?

Emily Stovall

Valentine’s Day: Avoiding the Single Girl Blues

Our faaaavorite holiday is just around the corner and we can’t wait to gush all about it. Yep you guessed it, it’s Valentine’s Day! A day for love and laughter for those annoyingly cute, perfect couples, and a day for tears and chocolate for those hopeless romantics that just can’t seem to find a match. Well stop. This article isn’t for the already happily made couples with their reservations for dinner already booked; this is for the singles out there looking for love in New York City who wish they could just skip that dreaded date of February 14th. To you singles, I’m here to tell you: It’s not all its cracked up to be, but since I know it sucks anyways, here are some tips to get you through the day.

First and foremost, get your butt on over to the professional matchmakers at Project Soulmate. Get all of those foolish stereotypes you have about online dating out of your mind and sign up. Sure you’re basically hiring someone to help you find a match, but who cares?? You’ll honestly probably find a match faster with these love experts that turns out to be 10 times better than the guy your best friend has been dating for 4 months now. Why? Because they are professional matchmakers. Because they know exactly what you are looking for and exactly how to find it for you. And because they are not only looking for your best interest, but everyone’s best interest. This means they are not going to hook you up with a guy/girl just because he fits your description, but Project Soulmate makes sure you fit his description too. They have the recipe for success and you just need to bite the bullet and get on board!

girls night outTip two, is live it up! Find your best single friends and hit the town. Make a reservation at the hottest NYC restaurant, just like a date, but go with 3 or 4 of your closest friends. Dress up, drink a little bit, bring each person a cheap Valentine’s Day card, and enjoy your night. Sometimes the best way to get through this dreadful holiday is by simply participating in the festivities! Just remember, in second grade no none had a valentine, but everyone loved valentine’s day because it meant you got cute cards, lots of candy, and hung out with friends… there’s no reason it should be any different now!

If you’re someone who prefers to be alone, though, then so be it! Tip three is to go buy a pint of ice cream or maybe your movie nightfavorite little cupcakes, and sob at romantic movies all night. A little ice cream and tears can sometimes be the best medicine. My personal favorite romances to check out are “The Notebook,” “The Fault in Our Stars,” and “The Theory of Everything.” On the other hand though I definitely recommend you throw in some romcom’s in the mix to have a giggle every now and then. In that case, “Bridesmaids” and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” are my ultimate go-to’s.

Whatever you decide, just don’t forget to enjoy yourself and to never ever give up on love in NYC. Love will come your way when the time is right!


Emily Stovall

Online Dating Genius: The Not-Your-Baby Pic

Welcome to #5 of Online Dating Genius: A blog series brought to you by the online dating experts at your favorite NYC Matchmaking Service, Project Soulmate! Each week we will reveal another “do-not” in online dating.

If you online date, you will relate.


Let’s get real for a second, okay? What is your intention when making the decision to upload that photo of you and that cute baby into your online profile? You do know that you’re on a dating site, not your facebook page, right? So why did you think that this random baby would make an important impression upon 100’s of strangers; a small fraction of whom you might be interested in dating?  

We think we get it. You want kids? You are great with kids! Babies love you, thus your matches will love you, too! You will make a great parent someday, therefore highlighting you as more desirable than other matches lacking random not-their-baby pics.  

No? We’re way off?  Ok we’ve got it…you think that cute baby makes you look cuter? It works at the party/beach/park like a charm. You walk around with your friend’s adorable baby and all the singles you hoped would notice you earlier, now flock to you and say “Oh she is sooooo cute! Is she yours?” To which you coyly reply, “No, she’s my buddy’s, but she loves me more,” to which they laugh, breathing a sigh of relief and immediately notice how cute (and available) YOU are!

Whatever your reason, it doesn’t typically play out this way on the other end of the digital dating world. It generally looks more like this:

“Wait, I thought he didn’t have a kid? Ugh, I bet has a kid but didn’t want to say so since he’s never been married.” (Click back button, other match suggestions pop up, new match suggestion looks pretty cute, click new match suggestion.) Yeah, people don’t always see your captions.  Sometimes it plays out like this: “She’s cute but this pic of her with her sister’s baby probably means she’s really wants a baby, too.  I’ve met too many women in a rush.” (Click to next match)

We know dating online can be a downer.  You’re just trying whatever you can to stand out, attract the right person, catch a break.  Everyone is in the same boat; we hear these complaints daily and have seen all that your probably go through during one of our past online dating client sessions. Whether it’s a male or female client, younger or older, with or without kids…everyone has their valid gripes.

There are many great strategies to dating online successfully. However, using a random baby that’s not your baby to attract someone isn’t one of them. Hence, the Not-Your-Baby photo choice is a DO NOT in online dating profile photo selection.  

Project Soulmate offers more than expert matchmaking in NYC. We can help you decide on the best photos for your online dating profile.  We also offer professional profile writing, photography, coaching and account management services for your online dating accounts. Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask!

Coming soon… Photos With Friends…and more! Stay tuned!

Check out these Online Dating Genius previous posts: The Offspring Pic, The Bathroom Selfie, The Height Exaggeration, and The Hot Chick In Your Pic.  

Find more good stuff here: Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

Jane Rudes

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant as well as the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with interested prospective online clients about their online profile and other common online dating woes. 

Online Dating Genius: The Offspring Pic

Welcome to #4 of Online Dating Genius: A blog series brought to you by the online dating experts at your favorite NYC Matchmaking Service, Project Soulmate! Each week we will reveal another “do-not” in online dating.

If you online date, you will relate.

Online Dating: The Offspring Pic

No, no, no! That’s right. None. The only place your kids belong in your online dating life, is at home with a sitter or your X while you’re on a date.  All online dating sites have a way for you to indicate if you have children and whether or not you are open to dating someone with children – and that is enough info.

Take baby steps; first focus on attracting someone to YOU, then of course make sure they are right for you. If you are choosing wisely, “right for you” will be also be good for your family.  If you are dating smart, the phase of meeting your kids will be a long way down the road. The last thing you want in a prospective date’s mind is  assumptions and judgements about your previous marriage and the situation they could be getting involved in by dating you. Which is precisely what those adorable pics of your kids plant in their heads. Keep them focused on you and only you. 

So what should be included in your profile pics? Anything that highlights the attractive parts of YOU.  Are you fit, fun, sexy, reserved, conservative, kind, talented, a leader, a philanthropist, a cultured traveler, a clown? Whatever you are, your online dating profile is your ad and you are the brand.  Viewers should get a feel for your personality, what you can bring to a relationship and why they may want to connect with you. On that note – you can simultaneously design your profile to attract a certain type of person you desire.

There are many useful photo and writing strategies for shining amidst the online dating fog – but including your kids in your profile photos is NOT one of them.

Project Soulmate can help you choose the best photos for your profile.  We also offer professional online profile writing, photography, online date coaching and expert matchmaking services using your online dating accounts.

Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask!

Coming soon… Photos With Friends…and more!  Stay tuned!

Check out these Online Dating Genius previous posts: The Bathroom Selfie, The Height Exaggeration, The Hot Chick In Your Pic, and The Not Your Baby Pic.

Find more good stuff here: Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant as well as the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with interested prospective online clients about their online profile and other common online dating woes. 

30 is the New 20

By: Nicole Hartley


There is a recent a buzz about how 30 is the new 20, but top psychologists say this is far from the truth. Twenty-somethings are putting off career and relationship decisions based on the belief that they have “downtime” before “real life” begins.

If you’re in your twenties and think that you have all the time in the world to start investing in your future, you’re wrong. Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist gave a TED talk about the false notion that twenty-somethings think they have all the time in the world to figure out their careers and their love lives. “Claiming your twenties is one of the simplest yet most transformative things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world,” says Jay.

In her talk, she calls the decade of your twenties “The Developmental Sweet-spot.” People in their twenties are often poorly influenced to believe that this period of life is an extended adolescence meant for living their life to the fullest by doing what they want while they still can. However, Meg Jay accurately points out how living your life to the fullest should include investing in your future NOW rather than later.

In her TED Talk, she says that the brain’s second and final growth spurt occurs in a person’s twenties, so if there is something you want to change about yourself, now is the time to do it. One of Jay’s 20-something patients share that she was dating a guy that she knew was a bad match for her. Jay questions the patient on why she would date a guy she doesn’t see a future with. Sadly, most twenty-somethings waste their time on relationships that have no future because they are waiting until their thirties to settle down with “The One.” Meg Jay says that this is a serious problem because when people do this, they often end up settling for someone out of convenience when they hit that 30 mark because it’s “time” to get married. “The best time to start working on your marriage is before you have one,” says Jay. “And that means being as intentional with love as you are with work.”

The bottom line is do not wait to start thinking about your future and building towards the life you ultimately want to achieve. Second best shouldn’t be your final destination in your career or your love life. Take charge and take initiative, go get the life you want NOW because time is working against you and it’s time for you to start pushing back.

here’s the link to the TED Talk: