The Benefit of the Doubt Syndrome

sad imageIf you’re anything like I am, you understand that sometimes being the bearer of bad news just comes with the title of a best friend. It is your job to give your friend clear warning signs; detour, do not enter, or dead end, to keep them safe from any unpredictable partners. Subconsciously, we follow traffic signs because we know disobeying the law can result in a ticket. On the other hand, we knowingly ignore guideposts and go on dangerous routes in pursuit of love that eventually costs us more than just money. How can we spare ourselves and our girlfriends of any collisions? Let us, the best matchmaking service in NYC, educate you on how to read a man and how to avoid falling victim to the “benefit of the doubt” syndrome.

If you’ve ever had continuous suspicion, unquestionable doubt, or have treated your man’s claims with skepticism, congratulations you’re a woman. A woman can naturally sense when something is off. You can just feel his love withdrawing. He’s starts acting different but you brush the idea away and pray his blase attitude passes with it. Instead of being straightforward and questioning him, you want to use environmental factors to reason with his distance. He hasn’t called me all week because he’s really busy. He only kissed me once today because he’s stressed out.

This is where the problem starts. You’re making all of the excuses for him so he doesn’t have to. Giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Ladies, the only person too busy or too stressed is the president and he still makes time for the first lady. Women work, and cook, and clean, and workout, and go to school, and raise children. If a person is interested in you nothing, not even an air-tight schedule, will stop them from wanting to spend time with you.

So he says he wants to spend time with ‘the boys’. The truth is he probably misses his friends. Truth also is he probably doesn’t miss you if he uses this excuse every weekend. His friends are a priority and you are not. I’m sorry to say this baby girl, but you need to let this man go.

Maybe he tells you that he’s not ready for anything serious. If he just got out of a serious relationship, then this is probably an honest response. If he hasn’t been in a relationship since his high school days, then you’ve probably got yourself a commitment phobic.  In this situation, a benefit of the doubt girl will assume that she can wait him out. You may want to believe that eventually he’ll want a relationship despite his aversion to commitment. But, the sad reality is not that he doesn’t want a relationship. It’s that he may not want one with you.

Or has he stopped texting you all together? Did his phone die or did he? So many women give their guy way too much credit. This my friends is the universal sign of denial. If days have gone by and he has yet to respond, I guarantee he’s read your message. No response is a response too. It means he’s just not that into you.

Now, I’m not saying that all men are shady. You can definitely still find great men when dating in NYC. Just be vigilant ladies. Some men will puppet you around until you catch on to the signs. Project Soulmate says all women have a six sense: a sense of consciousness, and we should not ignore it when we have any doubt of devotion. If you feel something is off it may be that something is actually off. It’s no wonder people say your mom is always right!

It’s no wonder people say your mom is always right!

 

Written by Christina Madera

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