Do Couples Who Workout Together… Work Out?

Group of friends enjoying walk in park

Originally written for the Dasha Wellness NYC blog October 11, 2012

Fitness couples. You know ’em.  The hot couple working out together at the gym, prepping for a marathon in Central Park, or going mountain climbing or hiking as their weekend activity. However, sometimes these “fitness couples” get a bad rap. Why is this? Maybe it makes everyone else bitter/jealous that more often than not we spend time eating, having cocktails, and sitting on the couch with our significant other and secretly wishing we were more active together? I’d say that whatever a couple likes to do together is a good thing. Outsiders should MYOB :).

Whether or not a couple works out together really depends on the couple- there is no need to keep this aspect of life separate! If fitness is something that you both enjoy, then of course, do it together! One of my favorite ways to spend time with my husband is when I roller blade and he runs! However, when giving advice to someone planning a first date, I never suggest planning anything too active or outdoorsy. It is way too much pressure on daters to prove themselves right off the bat! A first date should be relaxed where the couple can make eye contact.

After couples have been dating for a while, a situation that can cause the relationship to run into trouble is when one person pressures the other to work out or tone up. Clearly fitness is important for good health, but I think pressure of any kind isn’t a good thing. A person will become resentful, and chances are, your request will backfire. Everyone is the boss of his or her own body, so don’t project your insecurity onto your partner. However, if your partner is complaining about wanting to tone up or get in shape, then by all means offer ideas!

Until next time,

xoxo Lori Zaslow
Matchmaker & Co-Founder
Project Soulmate

Choosing The Perfect Matching Service For YOUR Love Life

HOW TO CHOOSE THE BEST MATCHMAKER FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE

2012-12-20 postDating Interview: As Matchmakers We Represent You with Lori Zaslow & Jennifer Zucher
see the original MyTreat interview here

Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher are the duo behind, Project Soulmate, one of Manhattan’s premier matchmakers for elite singles. They were also the stars of the Bravo TV reality show, Love Brokers. Today we were able to track them down and pick their brains on the world of matchmaking.

 

How does Project Soulmate, your professional matchmaking service, work? What’s the process like when someone comes to you and says “help me find someone”?

Our client base is made up of commitment minded men and women from the New York tri-state area and South Florida who have put their love lives in our hands; our database is populated with individuals who are looking for their other half and our process has a proven track record of success.

The first thing we do is meet with them, get to know them and see if there is a mutual connection. We want to make sure we are in sync and that we can find what they are looking for. We want to make sure our expectations are in line.

Sites like eharmony have long surveys they make people fill out and based on computer algorithms they figure out who matches with who. What’s different about how you guys approaching making matches?

Not only do we make people fill out a short questionnaire, we actually meet people one on one to learn about them, what they are looking for and we work together. There is no algorithm to love!

A lot of people like to play matchmaker whether they are good or not at it. What makes a good matchmaker?

Someone who is a great listener, unbiased, nonjudgmental, listening to what you have to say while learning what you need, who has a network different from your current network. People can’t be everywhere at once, so it’s our job to be at places where you can’t be…we represent you.

What should people be looking for in a matchmaker if they are considering using a formal one?

Someone who is in their city or town, feels you like connect with so they can commit to helping you, look for references and referrals. Someone that is open with you and doesn’t over promise.

How much matchmaking is actually coaching versus just finding them the “right” person? Does it ever happen where someone says they want XYZ in a person, but it turns out what they say they want isn’t necessarily good for them? How do you handle those situations?

We guide our clients, not coach our clients. We offer feedback and tell you what the other people really thought about you without a filter. We have an open rapport where we take on clients that we express; we listen to their needs and wants. When they start dating, they realize on their own, that XYZ personality traits might not compliment theirs. In the situations that things don’t work out our job is to handle it, we are hands on.

What do you think is biggest reason why people have trouble finding the right mate?

They think they are open and they are not. Also, not making love their first priority.

Connect with Lori or Jennifer:

Site: https://projectsoulmate.com
Company Twitter: https://twitter.com/ProjectSoulmate
Lori’s Twitter: @LoriZaslow
Jennifer’s Twitter: @JennZucher

Listen up Ladies! 5 Things Men Wish You Knew

 

Corporate eventWe’re always wondering what’s going on inside our guy’s head, but thanks to Shape Magazine, we may finally know the answer.

Interviewing over a dozen guys between the ages of 19 and 56, Shape got the scoop from men across the dating spectrum. Married, single and divorced, doctors, NFL players and music industry professionals—you name it, they asked him.

Bet you’re curious about what these men had to say! Well..

#1- When it comes to gift giving, as much as we would love to be surprised by our favorite Gucci handbag under the tree this Christmas, it’s just not going to happen.

Unless, of course, you help your man out! 32-year-old Richie Frieman says, “[If you don’t] give us a hint or just flat out tell us what you’d like, you are most likely going to end up with something unwanted.” His wife can certainly attest. Richie gave her tickets to a wrestling match for their anniversary because “she said she liked sports.” Oops!

#2-They get jealous too!

Not many men will admit this right off the bat, but according to NFL Linebacker Thomas Howard, “We don’t like when you’re laughing too hard at another man’s jokes.”

#3- Looks aren’t everything.

Haven’t we heard that one before? That’s because its true! Men and women can agree that physical attraction is only part of—a very small part of—what makes a relationship successful.

“If I want to be in a relationship with somebody, I need to have a deeper connection with them than just the physical. The best thing that a woman could do to attract me is to be herself.”—This is coming from pretty boy Aaron Carter, child superstar.

#4- Shopping isn’t so bad.

While your man may whine about going to Pottery Barn, most of the time he really doesn’t mind a trip to the mall or running a few errands. In fact, Celebrity Trainer Lalo Fuentes says, “We actually like going shopping with you…as long as you let us pick out your outfit.” Bribery goes a long way, ladies!

#5- They get insecure too!

We may get made fun of for spending so much time worrying about how we look, but as it turns out, men are just as self-conscious as women…especially at the gym. 34 year-old Chuck Hughes confesses, “At the gym, men…check themselves out in the mirror just as much as women do.” So the truth comes out!

2012-12-18 post pic 2

Thanks for reading!

Xoxo,

Olivia Poglianich & the Project Soulmate Team

To find out even more of these honest hotties had to say, visit http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/14-things-men-wish-women-knew?page=1.

5 Ways To Spot Your Soulmate

5 Ways to Know You’ve Met Your Soulmate, According to Bravo’s Love Broker: Lori Zaslow

by Anna Moeslein, Glamour.com
Assistant editor and entertainment writer. University of Missouri grad. Will listen to any song and watch any TV show, movie, or cute puppy video at least once (but probably twice). Eats ice cream or fro-yo daily⿿extra points if it has coconut.
Comments 14

So, how do you know if he’s “the one” or not? That’s something only you can truly tell, but there are a few sure-fire signs that you’ve met your soulmate. We asked relationship expert Lori Zaslow, star of Bravo’s Love Broker (returning TONIGHT, July 24 at 10/9c) and co-founder of matchmaking service Project Soulmate, for her tips on finding success in love.

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1. Consistency from the other person.

I think we’re all looking for that–someone who is giving you consistency and making you a top priority. To me, lasting love is your “soulmate.” It’s healthy. It’s normal. It’s good. You can’t know right away! It takes time to know someone’s moods. I don’t want to put my stamp on something that anyone would think is instant. At Project Soulmate, when someone is on the fence about a person they just met, we always encourage a second date. You just never know! That person could be your soulmate, and you just blew him off because there was no absolute magic right away.

2. Someone who is genuinely concerned.

He is genuinely concerned about you and asks ‘How was your day? How are you? How are you feeling?’ Everything is not one-sided. The person can sense your needs and wants more. You might not need to use words. Of course, in life we do need to use words to articulate, but he might have a stronger vibe if he’s your soulmate. It’s as if he said, “I knew you were feeling that today.”
3. The person is your best friend as much as he is your lover.

The attraction is there, but it’s balanced by a friendship. Without the friendship, the relationship will never sustain. So if it’s always hot and always about sexual relations–when it’s too much of anything–it’s not lasting. There’s a mutual love and respect when someone is your soulmate. That should be first of everything. When you’ve met your soulmate, you’re both giving 150 percent. If you’re each giving together, it’s 300 percent.

4. Your intuition plays a role.

It’s someone that your intuition is constantly reminding you that this is quality, this is different, and this is someone special. It’s someone that you want to make your top priority, and you want to give your all to, and someone you desire in a healthy way. The feeling of your heart falling every time you see him, every single time, waiting for the text. It’s the person that you think “Oh, this could be it!” It could feel like a different connection than you’ve ever felt. Sometimes you meet someone, and you’re like ‘I swear I know you from somewhere,’ or you feel an instant comfort. You could feel more comfortable with a guy you know three months than someone you were with for five years. It happens all the time. So when I use the word soulmate, I’m not saying it loosely, because there is definitely magic in that word.
5. The person listens to what you say and actually acts upon it.

When you love someone and care about someone, you want to be better for yourself, but also for that person. When you’re going to have a future with someone, the person’s health becomes your health. Your partner takes what you say with love. Words and actions should be one in the same, always. You don’t only say ‘I love you’ and expect him to know it. No, you show someone. Anything you do not protect, you lose. Go out of your way when it’s someone’s birthday or when someone got a promotion. Be there when he needs you to hold his hand. Show someone you love them, take care of him, protect him. Your soulmate is going to give his all all of the time. When your boyfriend travels, he’s going to let you know he cares. Through thick and thin, someone is going to love you whether you have makeup on or you don’t. Because money comes and goes, friends come and go, life comes and goes.

So, tell us! Do you think you’ve met your soulmate? What are some of your signs for knowing you’re with “the one?”

Project Soulmate on Blog Talk Radio

2012-12-18 post 2

Sometimes finding that special someone seems to be impossible. This is when you bring on the best in Matchmaking in the team of Bravo TV’s Lori Zaslow and Jenn Zucher, collectively they are the founders of Project Soulmate.

Lori and Jenn  serve as great entertainment. Not only are they outspoken and prepared to discuss the fabulous and not-so-fabulous aspects of love, but their contrasting opinions are sure to entertain all. Between Lori’s tongue-in-cheek comments and Jenn’s directness, they are a dynamic duo ready to take on any question thrown their way. Nothing is too risqué or over the top.

Tune in to hear how its done.

www.projectsoulmate.com

Listen in and get many important questions answered during this detailed interview with Project Soulmate: Bravo’s Love Broker, Lori Zaslow and her business partner Jenn Zucher are featured on the UCW Radio Show, with the wonderful Louis Velasquez

Listen to internet radio with Louis Velazquez on Blog Talk Radio

Top 10 Dating DO’s and DON’Ts by Project Soulmate

From the founders of Project Soulmate, Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher

1. Be positive and warm. Always smile. Do not be a Debbie Downer and check out when you are not feeling chemistry as it can come back and haunt you later. It is a small world and everybody knows everybody. Be your own PR person, because you never know if he will introduce you to his brother, cousin or friend. You always want to leave a good taste in someone’s mouth about you.

2. Be present and discuss. Nothing too deep. Ask about his hobbies and interests and keep it light. Do not interrogate a guy and act like a private investigator (where are you from, what do you do for a living, etc.). Never talk about the future because it will guarantee no future. Examples are getting married, kids or inviting him to a wedding in 6 months when you barely know each other.

3. When you are having a great time, do not stay too long. No more than an hour and a half should suffice because too long will turn into too much information and too much alcohol. Leave him desiring to see you again. Always leave on a high note. When things are going good– exit. If there is a connection he will pursue you.

4. Be thoughtful and initiate a plan. It is ok for a woman to plan a date, just not the first date. Do not always expect a man to do everything. He is not your father; he is the man you are dating. Men want love, attention and someone to be thoughtful as well.
5. Compliment a man. If he looks good and smells good, tell him! Everyone wants to feel good about him or herself.

6. Men are visual creatures. Dress sexy not provocative. A little leg and a little arm never hurt, but do not go overboard and send the wrong message. Leave a little to the imagination.

7. After a great date you can send a thank you text, but that is it! Do not smother a guy and over pursue. No one likes desperation in a woman.

8. Do not drink too much. Two drink maximum ladies! Any more, you become sloppy and no one likes that. A turn on is someone that can hold their own and still carry on a conversation.

9. Guys cannot stand a girl that is too chatty and catty. It is an automatic turn off. Another turn off is girls that nag. They like a girl that can hold a normal conversation and not just talk about other people.

10. Guys do not like when you compare your relationship to another. They do not want to hear about your friends and their relationships. Just remember, the male ego is fragile and needs to handled with care.

General rule of thumb–know your target audience. In the animal kingdom, you do not see zebras reproducing with monkeys. Know your type in terms of looks, personality, goals, interests, etc. Do not date a partier if that is not your thing, do not date a bore if you need personality and do not date a religious zealot if you never want to step foot in a church. You will just be wasting your time and will likely be doomed from the start. Guys (and people as whole) really just do not change much.

Blind Date Etiquette

Young couple sharing a glass of red wine in restaurant

Q: Is it okay to bring up my past relationships?

A:  No Ex talk! No one wants to hear about other dudes and ladies on a date, especially your “Ex’s”.  People get intimidated when a man or woman talks about another person they have never met.

Q: Who should make the first move after the first date?

A:  Let the Guy Make The Call. Never contact a guy after a first date…that’s his job! If you call him first you will always be the one who chases him.

Q: What should I wear on my first date?

A:  Sexy Not Slutty- Remember that a guy’s fantasy of your naked body will make him chase you to the end of the earth. Allow his imagination to run wild by wearing something sexy not slutty.

Q: Is it okay to talk about the future on a first date?

A:  Live in the moment.  Don’t talk about the future with your date. Nothing scares a guy more than a girl assuming he will want to hang out with her in the future.

Q: If I like her, when should I ask her out again?

A:  If you know you like the woman, before the first date ends, you should ask her out on another date.  You have to hug and at least kiss on the cheek at the end of every date. You have to end it warmly.

Q: How long should a first date last?

A:  You must spend no less than one hour on your blind date.  Lori insists you do not leave your date after 15 minutes even if you think it’s not going well. Open your mind to giving it ONE hour of your undivided attention and energy.