How Picky is Too Picky When Searching for a Relationship?

Lately, it seems that no matter where we turn we’re faced with articles that say that our generation is “un-dateable” or “there are perfectly good reasons why you’re single!” At the end of the day, it doesn’t take a relationship expert to figure out why most of us are single. It’s because we’re too damn picky.

Don’t get me wrong- there’s no problem with knowing what you want in a relationship. That will save you a lot of time, emotions, and lipstick in the long run.

The problem we have is that, especially when it’s been a while, we tend to concoct this dream man straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel and any guy who doesn’t meet those standards gets brushed off. Hell, you could have the best matchmaking service in NYC set you up and still find a flaw in your date. Maybe that’s why we’ve been deemed un-dateable?

There’s also a problem within the problem. A lot of us are blind to the fact that we’re picky. We wonder why we push guys away after a few dates or second-guess the relationship when something goes slightly awry.

These things happen because we may not be picky in the beginning, but as the relationship progresses, our pickiness decides to sneak out of the woodwork.

At first, he’s your type. He draws you in and you thank the heavens that you’ve finally broken out of your rut. You’re ready to laugh in all of the faces of those who said you were un-dateable.

Then, you’re pickiness shows up to the party. You notice that he’s not as cute when he shaves his beard. You love that he has tattoos, but think the ones he has are tacky and cliché. That one time he came over for a Netflix date, he chose way too girly of a movie (which he only chose for you and almost definitely hated) which makes him way too sensitive.

We’re all guilty of it. We ruin a good thing by nitpicking the reasons why a perfectly good guy isn’t good enough for us. We end up losing him and blame it on everything but the fact that in our picky minds, he just wasn’t up to par.

Like I said, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you want in a man and in a relationship. But when the shoes he wears on the third date makes or breaks the relationship, that’s when you need to take a step back and reevaluate which of your criteria are actually important to you, and which ones are just picky pet peeves getting in the way of love.

 

BY: Nicole D’Amato

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