From the founders of Project Soulmate, Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher
1. Be positive and warm. Always smile. Do not be a Debbie Downer and check out when you are not feeling chemistry as it can come back and haunt you later. It is a small world and everybody knows everybody. Be your own PR person, because you never know if he will introduce you to his brother, cousin or friend. You always want to leave a good taste in someone’s mouth about you.
2. Be present and discuss. Nothing too deep. Ask about his hobbies and interests and keep it light. Do not interrogate a guy and act like a private investigator (where are you from, what do you do for a living, etc.). Never talk about the future because it will guarantee no future. Examples are getting married, kids or inviting him to a wedding in 6 months when you barely know each other.
3. When you are having a great time, do not stay too long. No more than an hour and a half should suffice because too long will turn into too much information and too much alcohol. Leave him desiring to see you again. Always leave on a high note. When things are going good– exit. If there is a connection he will pursue you.
4. Be thoughtful and initiate a plan. It is ok for a woman to plan a date, just not the first date. Do not always expect a man to do everything. He is not your father; he is the man you are dating. Men want love, attention and someone to be thoughtful as well.
5. Compliment a man. If he looks good and smells good, tell him! Everyone wants to feel good about him or herself.
6. Men are visual creatures. Dress sexy not provocative. A little leg and a little arm never hurt, but do not go overboard and send the wrong message. Leave a little to the imagination.
7. After a great date you can send a thank you text, but that is it! Do not smother a guy and over pursue. No one likes desperation in a woman.
8. Do not drink too much. Two drink maximum ladies! Any more, you become sloppy and no one likes that. A turn on is someone that can hold their own and still carry on a conversation.
9. Guys cannot stand a girl that is too chatty and catty. It is an automatic turn off. Another turn off is girls that nag. They like a girl that can hold a normal conversation and not just talk about other people.
10. Guys do not like when you compare your relationship to another. They do not want to hear about your friends and their relationships. Just remember, the male ego is fragile and needs to handled with care.
General rule of thumb–know your target audience. In the animal kingdom, you do not see zebras reproducing with monkeys. Know your type in terms of looks, personality, goals, interests, etc. Do not date a partier if that is not your thing, do not date a bore if you need personality and do not date a religious zealot if you never want to step foot in a church. You will just be wasting your time and will likely be doomed from the start. Guys (and people as whole) really just do not change much.
