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Relationship Bods: Don’t be a Victim

Relationship Bod

Ah, the honeymoon stage… A time for countless amounts of sex; dinner, lunch, and brunch dates everyday; and movie nights in with big bottles of wine for two. Oh and you might not notice it now, but it’s also the time for you to gain about 10-20 extra pounds in all the wrong places! We call it: The Relationship Bod.

I like to think of the honeymoon stage of your relationship like your freshman year of college. It freakin’ rocks, but you don’t notice all the weight you’re putting on. Eventually, whether it’s your junior year of college or your last, you start to realize (and you start majorly regretting) all those late night pizza orders, and 12 packs of beer you finished in an hour are catching up to you. The same happens with your relationship. You start out super excited and happy that you finally have someone to explore all those New York restaurants with. And your pumped that on weekends you get to just snuggle in bed all day, rather than go out and try to meet new people. Unfortunately, just like the 12 packs you downed freshman year of college, these new habits from your relationship will start taking a toll on your body, too.

The question is what do you do now that you’re realizing you have fallen victim to the dreaded Relationship Bod?? Project Soulmate has some ideas. The best trend going on right now is the development of tons of hip new workout studios like aerial yoga, or cross fit training facilities. A great idea would be to have you and your boyfriend/girlfriend join together. Maybe have some friendly competition, and in no time you two will be back to being babes. Another idea from our professional matchmakers is to start cooking your own meals. There are so many videos circulating Facebook right now with healthy meals that are easy to make (especially with two people) and look absolutely delicious. Not only does this help improve your health, but it makes your wallet happier, too.

So, yes, it is great that you’ve finally found love in New York City with someone who thinks you are beautiful no matter what, but that doesn’t mean you should just give up on yourself!! According to our relationship expert’s, one key to a long lasting, healthy relationship is pleasing and impressing your partner everyday. Give our tips a try, and if you ever need any more advice, Project Soulmate is always open to help!

 

Emily Stovall

Online Dating Genius: The Age Liar

Online Dating Genius: The Age Liar

Online Dating Genius: The Age Liar

So let’s talk about our next greatest pet peeve on online dating websites:

Lying About Your Age.

We get it: you’ve gotten older, you’re single, and you have those great pics from last decade and they’re so much better than that one from last weekend.  So what’s your solution? To get on a dating website, lie about your age, and post old pictures of yourself to snag the matches you really want. Who wouldn’t love a 32 year-old with the relationship wisdom, maturity and experience of a 44 year-old anyway? Problem is though, now you’re kind of a big, fat, liar too…

The question is – what’s your plan? You find a special someone you’re really interested in online, the conversations begin to flow really well, and then they want to meet you in person…remember? Do you end up telling the truth or do you just cut out, and move on to the next match, trapping yourself in an eternal online dating black hole? Either option will not bring you any closer to your goal of finding that special someone who loves you for you. Isn’t that why you decided to date online in the first place?

If you decide to tell the truth before you meet, you have created a very sour taste in the mouth of your potential true love – before your first official impression. “If they lied about this, what else could they be lying about??” Even if they give you the chance…they will be so focused on your looks for your age that it would take a miracle for you feel comfortable enough to be redeeming.  If you decide to tell the truth (or never tell the truth) much farther down the road…all we can say is good luck to you.

Suggestion: Try being real from the start (Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind, right?) and then invest in some high-quality, professional  online dating photos. (No, it does not look like you are trying too hard and yes, it has proven to work extremely well.)  If you are finally taking the plunge into the online dating world, be honest.  Be honest with yourself and with those on the site. No one wants their time or money wasted, and no one wants their preferences disregarded. Do you?

Unfortunately, you’ll never find that special someone if you are lying from the start about your age and misleading about the way you currently look. Besides, if you looked that great at 32, you probably look fantastic at 44! Embrace who you are and learn the ways to present a package that people can’t refuse. Confidence is the sexiest reported characteristic in dating. If someone doesn’t like you for your age, then you shouldn’t like them for their opinions.

So, if you’re still thinking about going old school in your profile, think about how annoyed you’d feel if you thought you were going on a date with one of these two:

Screen Shot 2016-03-14 at 12.33.52 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-14 at 12.30.53 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And one of these two showed up…
Screen Shot 2016-03-14 at 12.23.05 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-14 at 12.22.19 PM

(Meanwhile, some other people would thrilled to land of date with one of these two and now you’ve wasted everyone’s time. Anyway, they’re both taken.)

If you want to know which profile photos to use, or the best way to highlight great qualities about yourself in your online profile, call Project Soulmate’s online dating experts for answers.

Project Soulmate can make your online dating profile stand out from the crowd. Our profile writing, photography, communication coaching, and account management services can actually make this whole “finding the love of my life online” thing fun! Our professional matchmakers are always available and willing to help, just Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask away!

Check out these Online Dating Genius previous posts: The Offspring Pic, The Bathroom Selfie, The Height Exaggeration, and The Hot Chick In Your Pic.

Find more good stuff here: Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

Emily Stovall

Emily Stovall is our powerhouse Marketing and Business Management Intern.

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant and the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate.

We are happy to answer questions for interested, prospective online clients regarding common online dating woes and what we can do for you and your online dating accounts.

What Not to Do: Bad Dating Advice from RomComs

RomCom’s ya gotta love em… right? I mean how could you not, they are cute, funny, and end happily ever after! The downside to these great movies is that they are incredibly unrealistic!! Here’s a list of a few of the best romantic comedies with the advice they give, and with the advice you really want from the Project Soulmate Love Experts:

1.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“Forgetting Sarah Marshall” – Jason Segal, Mila Kunis, and Kristen Bell it’s like the perfect trifecta, but it’s definitely not the perfect advice.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s Advice: Follow your ex-girlfriend to Hawaii, meet a perfect new girl, but then still sleep with your ex-girlfriend to “for sure” no you’re over her while hurting the perfect new girl you met in the process.

Project Soulmate’s Advice: Don’t jump into a new relationship until you are definitely over your last. It saves a lot of people from getting their feelings hurt!

 

2.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“Bridesmaids” – Kristen Wig and Maya Rudolph, need we say more?? The movie is absolutely hilarious, but in terms of relationships and friendships… It’s probably not the best movie to get advice from!

“Bridesmaids” Advice: Get super jealous of your best friends new engagement that you ruin each engagement party, and pretend like the one guy trying to help you is making things worse

Project Soulmate’s Advice: Talk it out. Talk to your best friend about your frustrations, and talk to the new guy in your life. This way they both know why you might be acting crazy or flipping out on them!

 

3.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“Ten Things I Hate About You” – A freakin’ Classic! Heath Ledger (love) and Julia Stiles make a great match, but there were some definite humps they had to go through before the happily ever after couple you see at the end…

“Ten Things I Hate About You” Advice: Agree to go out with the “loser” sister for money just so another random guy can go out with the “popular” sister. Ah don’t you just love finding out that the guy dating you is only doing it for money?? Me too!!

Project Soulmate’s Advice: When a seemingly random guy is all of a sudden super into you… do your research. And if in the end, you do find out he had some ulterior motives, decide for yourself if they are something you could get over.

 

4.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“Knocked Up” – Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogan make an unusual couple, but it seems to work… of course this is just a movie. Which leads us to the super unrealistic advice viewers get from this movie…….

“Knocked Up” Advice: Get drunk, sleep with someone, decide not to use a condom, get pregnant, but decide the two of you can work it out in the long run.

Project Soulmate’s Advice: First of all, probably just always wear a condom for a random late night hook up. Second of all, don’t think just because you got pregnant with a random hookup you guys need to force a relationship. Sometimes the best mommy-daddy relationships are ones where the mommy and daddy aren’t even together!

 

5.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“The Proposal” – Honestly any movie Sandra Bullock is in is a win for me, but it doesn’t always mean they’re realistic and I take all my dating advice from it.

“The Proposal” Advice: Avoid getting your citizenship forms completed until you are (almost) forced to be deported back to Canada. Then decide to marry your assistant just so you can keep your job and stay in the country. Genius!

Project Soulmate’s Advice: Keep your visas and all other forms required up to date, so you aren’t forced to marry someone you barely know just to remain in the country. Try going on regular dates before jumping into a proposal!!

 

6.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“Her” – Probably one of the weirdest movies I’ve seen in a while, but Scarlett Johansson does make a great computer voice!

“Her” Advice: Avoid real-life dating at all costs. Don’t even socialize or have sex with real-life people because a computer can give you everything you need.

Project Soulmate’s Advice: GO ON DATES. MEET REAL PEOPLE. PUT YOUR COMPUTER AND OTHER ELECTRONIC DEVICES DOWN AND ACTUALLY TALK TO REAL PEOPLE. Wow sorry, just really passionate about the fact that if you want to actually meet someone to spend your life with, you need to actually dedicate some real life, quality time to those people; and maybe give people a chance that you wouldn’t usually.

 

Moral of the story: Don’t ever stop watching Romcom’s because they offer some needed comic relief to a tough thing we call “love.” Just remember to not take everything they say or do seriously!

 

Emily Stovall

Marriage: Told by Three Generations

Successful Marriage
In the midst of this 21st century world of dating in New York and marriages, it seems so common for people to break-up or get divorced. But why? I’ve been trying to figure out why this seems to happen so frequently now a days because 1. It’s interesting, and 2. I want to avoid it happening to me! So I thought it would be cool for the relationship experts over at Project Soulmate to see how three different generations would answer this simple question: What are five things that make a successful marriage?

I asked this question to my sister who has recently been married, to my mother who has been married to my dad for 27 years, and to my grandma who was married to my grandpa for 57 years until his passing. Now I’m not saying any of them are relationship experts, but they’ve definitely got some experience under their belt. I was not sure what kind of responses I would get, if they’d be identical or drastically different, but I thought that either way it could give some insight into the difficult world of marriage. So here are their answers, word for word. Check them out and see what you think; I mean I might’ve just hacked the secret for a long-lasting marriage

Successful Marriage

Celeste – 26 Years Old, Newlywed

  1. Communication
  2. Doing things together, but also having alone time
  3. Supporting one another’s goals
  4. Being able to make the other laugh, like singing “fireflies” by Owl City
  5. SEX

Tara – 54 Years Old, Married for 27 Years and Counting

  1. Take Care of yourself/stay in shape/exercise; and if you are a stay at home mom, still fix your hair and put on your makeup
  2. Send gifts/flowers etc. to his work or place of business, just because, not because you are apologizing for something
  3. Have time separate from each other – encourage guy trips/girl trips with friends
  4. When it comes to household finances get and stay on the same page
  5. Sit down to dinner together whenever possible… Even if it means eating at odd times
  6. Always have time for him, ask yourself; “If my best friend form high school walked in the door, would I be too tiredSuccesful Marriage to do something with her?”

Marietta – 79 Years Old, Married for 57 Years

  1. Have to be agreeable when raising your children, when you punish them and everything
  2. Considerate of each other, not selfish
  3. Have to love each other
  4. Willing to wait on them, to take care of them in sickness or in health
  5. Go to church together

 

After going through their answers, they did seem to be very different, but also had some general things that matched. For example, they all agree that communication is very important, whether it is about finances or raising kids, you and your hubby/wifey need to communicate and be on the same page. Another one that stuck out most to me, was how important it is to make time for one another, and to definitely not be selfish when it comes to your relationship. It might seem ridiculous, and there’s clearly no science behind it, but I think these tips could be really useful. If nothing else, I can assure you that these people, no matter how long it’s been, are still very in love; so that’s enough science for me!

The first thing on your agenda, though, is finding the guy/girl to even consider for marriage. And Project Soulmate knows just how to find them!!

 

Emily Stovall

Valentine’s Day: Avoiding the Single Girl Blues

Our faaaavorite holiday is just around the corner and we can’t wait to gush all about it. Yep you guessed it, it’s Valentine’s Day! A day for love and laughter for those annoyingly cute, perfect couples, and a day for tears and chocolate for those hopeless romantics that just can’t seem to find a match. Well stop. This article isn’t for the already happily made couples with their reservations for dinner already booked; this is for the singles out there looking for love in New York City who wish they could just skip that dreaded date of February 14th. To you singles, I’m here to tell you: It’s not all its cracked up to be, but since I know it sucks anyways, here are some tips to get you through the day.

First and foremost, get your butt on over to the professional matchmakers at Project Soulmate. Get all of those foolish stereotypes you have about online dating out of your mind and sign up. Sure you’re basically hiring someone to help you find a match, but who cares?? You’ll honestly probably find a match faster with these love experts that turns out to be 10 times better than the guy your best friend has been dating for 4 months now. Why? Because they are professional matchmakers. Because they know exactly what you are looking for and exactly how to find it for you. And because they are not only looking for your best interest, but everyone’s best interest. This means they are not going to hook you up with a guy/girl just because he fits your description, but Project Soulmate makes sure you fit his description too. They have the recipe for success and you just need to bite the bullet and get on board!

girls night outTip two, is live it up! Find your best single friends and hit the town. Make a reservation at the hottest NYC restaurant, just like a date, but go with 3 or 4 of your closest friends. Dress up, drink a little bit, bring each person a cheap Valentine’s Day card, and enjoy your night. Sometimes the best way to get through this dreadful holiday is by simply participating in the festivities! Just remember, in second grade no none had a valentine, but everyone loved valentine’s day because it meant you got cute cards, lots of candy, and hung out with friends… there’s no reason it should be any different now!

If you’re someone who prefers to be alone, though, then so be it! Tip three is to go buy a pint of ice cream or maybe your movie nightfavorite little cupcakes, and sob at romantic movies all night. A little ice cream and tears can sometimes be the best medicine. My personal favorite romances to check out are “The Notebook,” “The Fault in Our Stars,” and “The Theory of Everything.” On the other hand though I definitely recommend you throw in some romcom’s in the mix to have a giggle every now and then. In that case, “Bridesmaids” and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” are my ultimate go-to’s.

Whatever you decide, just don’t forget to enjoy yourself and to never ever give up on love in NYC. Love will come your way when the time is right!

 

Emily Stovall

First Date Do’s & Dont’s

Embarking on a first date can be can be scary sometimes, regardless of if it’s a blind date or one that’s been set up by relationship experts. It can mean something as small as grabbing drinks or as extensive as a five course meal. Whatever the date may be, following these steps are a surefire way to make a great first impression.

 

Do:

Listen. As my grandfather used to say, “you’ve got 2 ears and one mouth for a reason”. This applies to everything in life, especially first dates. People love to talk about themselves and asking the right questions can really open a person up and start a great conversation. No one wants to be interrupted or feel like that can’t get a word in. Relationships are a two way street, give and take. The same goes for conversation.

Put your phone away. Whether you are texting, calling, or simply checking your phone for the time, you’ll make your date feel unimportant. So instead, wear a watch to keep track of time and let your friends know that you can’t be reached during those couple of hours so you wont be tempted to answer.

Wear something comfortable. And no, this does not mean jeans and a t-shirt. Make sure that the outfit you pick out is one that you’ve tested out before. Wearing 6 inch heels that make it impossible to walk are probably not the best choice.

Get excited. It’s not everyday that you get to dress up a bit, take advantage. When you see them, make sure to smile so they know you are happy to be there. Nothing makes a man feel great like a beautiful woman who is interested in him.

Bring your manners. Hopefully they’ll also bring theirs and open doors for you. Please and thank you’s can go a long way in life.

 

Don’t:

Assume that they are buying. Never forget your wallet at home. Even if they do pick up the tab (and in my opinion they should) not bringing a wallet could leave a bad impression. Also, if they want to split the bill and you have no money, things could get awkward, fast.

Get drunk. Sloppy first dates rarely lead to second ones. Know your limits so that you don’t end up drunk. Drinks are fun to have so you loosen up a bit, just don’t come unraveled.

Ask about exes. The reason you are on a date is to get know someone new, not to talk about your past. Exes can bring up bad experiences and can leave your date thinking that you are stuck in the past.

 

Above all, be yourself. Confidence is the most attractive quality a woman (or man) can possess.

BY: LILY DOERFLER

Top 3 Mistakes Men Make On The First Date

Celebuzz featured Lori Zaslow of Project Soulmate back in 2012, discussing mistakes men make on their first date which can prevent them from finding “the one”.
(see the original article here)

Lori Zaslow believes that love is as essential to living as air. On Bravo’s reality series, Love Broker, the matchmaker helped men understand how to make their best first impression in order to snag that all-important love match.

“They definitely improve,” Zaslow tells Celebuzz of her clients who listen to her advice. “If they took the skills and the feedback and were able to implement it, even if it wasn’t like sparks everywhere, at least they knew maybe how to act a little more present or put their best foot forward or smell better or whatever the situation was, and they took the advice.”

Of course, before love can happen, men have to get the all-important second date. Zaslow clues Celebuzz’s readers in on the three biggest mistakes men make on first dates – take a look at her list below.

1. Not being present. “They’re on their Blackberry, or they’re thinking about work, or thinking about a past relationship, rather than just being in the moment,” Zaslow explains.

2. Giving up too soon. “Men really do work outside in and they’re much more visual creatures, which is fine and fair,” she points out. “But I think sometimes, they don’t give a second chance like a woman would. They cut it off right then and there. And sometimes I see with my clients, the minute the attraction’s not there, they can’t give that kindness and positive energy to the date.”

3. Giving in to fear of rejection. “[Men are] so much more afraid of rejection that they don’t always respond with their emotions,” the Project Soulmate co-founder tells us. “So, they might not let a girl back. For instance, right now, I have a client that’s like, ‘You know what, I emailed her Sunday and I waited until Wednesday and texted her.’ Why would you wait? That’s three or four days, another guy’s going to get right in there and that’s it, she’s off the market.”