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First Date Do’s & Dont’s

Embarking on a first date can be can be scary sometimes, regardless of if it’s a blind date or one that’s been set up by relationship experts. It can mean something as small as grabbing drinks or as extensive as a five course meal. Whatever the date may be, following these steps are a surefire way to make a great first impression.

 

Do:

Listen. As my grandfather used to say, “you’ve got 2 ears and one mouth for a reason”. This applies to everything in life, especially first dates. People love to talk about themselves and asking the right questions can really open a person up and start a great conversation. No one wants to be interrupted or feel like that can’t get a word in. Relationships are a two way street, give and take. The same goes for conversation.

Put your phone away. Whether you are texting, calling, or simply checking your phone for the time, you’ll make your date feel unimportant. So instead, wear a watch to keep track of time and let your friends know that you can’t be reached during those couple of hours so you wont be tempted to answer.

Wear something comfortable. And no, this does not mean jeans and a t-shirt. Make sure that the outfit you pick out is one that you’ve tested out before. Wearing 6 inch heels that make it impossible to walk are probably not the best choice.

Get excited. It’s not everyday that you get to dress up a bit, take advantage. When you see them, make sure to smile so they know you are happy to be there. Nothing makes a man feel great like a beautiful woman who is interested in him.

Bring your manners. Hopefully they’ll also bring theirs and open doors for you. Please and thank you’s can go a long way in life.

 

Don’t:

Assume that they are buying. Never forget your wallet at home. Even if they do pick up the tab (and in my opinion they should) not bringing a wallet could leave a bad impression. Also, if they want to split the bill and you have no money, things could get awkward, fast.

Get drunk. Sloppy first dates rarely lead to second ones. Know your limits so that you don’t end up drunk. Drinks are fun to have so you loosen up a bit, just don’t come unraveled.

Ask about exes. The reason you are on a date is to get know someone new, not to talk about your past. Exes can bring up bad experiences and can leave your date thinking that you are stuck in the past.

 

Above all, be yourself. Confidence is the most attractive quality a woman (or man) can possess.

BY: LILY DOERFLER

An Interview: All About Project Soulmate with Arthur Kade

ArthurKade & Project Soulmate

Watch The Original Project Soulmate VIDEO Interview With Arthur Kade (Click here)

Clipped from the adorably sweet Arthur Kade:

Lori Zaslow and Jenn Zucher are two of the country’s best matchmakers, and after finishing up their first season of Bravo’s “LoveBroker”, two well known reality stars. With their matchmaking business “Project Soulmate”, they have established themselves as NYC’s elite matchmaking combo, reliable and edgy TV Personalities that appear on various TV Shows, and as they perfectly put it, their mission is “to deliver high quality, meaningful matches that have a genuine potential for love. Whether this is your first real romance or a second chance at love, Project Soulmate is passionate to help you meet your other half.”

Here “The King Of Kamelot” sits down with the awesome and extremely funny Lori Zaslow and Jenn Zucher of Project Soulmate and Bravo’s “LoveBroker” in NYC to talk about how they have become one of the country’s leading matchmaking businesses, what the experience on their first season of Bravo was like, how they met and started working together, who they would hook me up with, and what lies ahead. I have to say that I LOVED these two, and can’t wait to see them on TV again soon!!

Choosing The Perfect Matching Service For YOUR Love Life

HOW TO CHOOSE THE BEST MATCHMAKER FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE

2012-12-20 postDating Interview: As Matchmakers We Represent You with Lori Zaslow & Jennifer Zucher
see the original MyTreat interview here

Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher are the duo behind, Project Soulmate, one of Manhattan’s premier matchmakers for elite singles. They were also the stars of the Bravo TV reality show, Love Brokers. Today we were able to track them down and pick their brains on the world of matchmaking.

 

How does Project Soulmate, your professional matchmaking service, work? What’s the process like when someone comes to you and says “help me find someone”?

Our client base is made up of commitment minded men and women from the New York tri-state area and South Florida who have put their love lives in our hands; our database is populated with individuals who are looking for their other half and our process has a proven track record of success.

The first thing we do is meet with them, get to know them and see if there is a mutual connection. We want to make sure we are in sync and that we can find what they are looking for. We want to make sure our expectations are in line.

Sites like eharmony have long surveys they make people fill out and based on computer algorithms they figure out who matches with who. What’s different about how you guys approaching making matches?

Not only do we make people fill out a short questionnaire, we actually meet people one on one to learn about them, what they are looking for and we work together. There is no algorithm to love!

A lot of people like to play matchmaker whether they are good or not at it. What makes a good matchmaker?

Someone who is a great listener, unbiased, nonjudgmental, listening to what you have to say while learning what you need, who has a network different from your current network. People can’t be everywhere at once, so it’s our job to be at places where you can’t be…we represent you.

What should people be looking for in a matchmaker if they are considering using a formal one?

Someone who is in their city or town, feels you like connect with so they can commit to helping you, look for references and referrals. Someone that is open with you and doesn’t over promise.

How much matchmaking is actually coaching versus just finding them the “right” person? Does it ever happen where someone says they want XYZ in a person, but it turns out what they say they want isn’t necessarily good for them? How do you handle those situations?

We guide our clients, not coach our clients. We offer feedback and tell you what the other people really thought about you without a filter. We have an open rapport where we take on clients that we express; we listen to their needs and wants. When they start dating, they realize on their own, that XYZ personality traits might not compliment theirs. In the situations that things don’t work out our job is to handle it, we are hands on.

What do you think is biggest reason why people have trouble finding the right mate?

They think they are open and they are not. Also, not making love their first priority.

Connect with Lori or Jennifer:

Site: https://projectsoulmate.com
Company Twitter: https://twitter.com/ProjectSoulmate
Lori’s Twitter: @LoriZaslow
Jennifer’s Twitter: @JennZucher

Top 10 Dating DO’s and DON’Ts by Project Soulmate

From the founders of Project Soulmate, Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher

1. Be positive and warm. Always smile. Do not be a Debbie Downer and check out when you are not feeling chemistry as it can come back and haunt you later. It is a small world and everybody knows everybody. Be your own PR person, because you never know if he will introduce you to his brother, cousin or friend. You always want to leave a good taste in someone’s mouth about you.

2. Be present and discuss. Nothing too deep. Ask about his hobbies and interests and keep it light. Do not interrogate a guy and act like a private investigator (where are you from, what do you do for a living, etc.). Never talk about the future because it will guarantee no future. Examples are getting married, kids or inviting him to a wedding in 6 months when you barely know each other.

3. When you are having a great time, do not stay too long. No more than an hour and a half should suffice because too long will turn into too much information and too much alcohol. Leave him desiring to see you again. Always leave on a high note. When things are going good– exit. If there is a connection he will pursue you.

4. Be thoughtful and initiate a plan. It is ok for a woman to plan a date, just not the first date. Do not always expect a man to do everything. He is not your father; he is the man you are dating. Men want love, attention and someone to be thoughtful as well.
5. Compliment a man. If he looks good and smells good, tell him! Everyone wants to feel good about him or herself.

6. Men are visual creatures. Dress sexy not provocative. A little leg and a little arm never hurt, but do not go overboard and send the wrong message. Leave a little to the imagination.

7. After a great date you can send a thank you text, but that is it! Do not smother a guy and over pursue. No one likes desperation in a woman.

8. Do not drink too much. Two drink maximum ladies! Any more, you become sloppy and no one likes that. A turn on is someone that can hold their own and still carry on a conversation.

9. Guys cannot stand a girl that is too chatty and catty. It is an automatic turn off. Another turn off is girls that nag. They like a girl that can hold a normal conversation and not just talk about other people.

10. Guys do not like when you compare your relationship to another. They do not want to hear about your friends and their relationships. Just remember, the male ego is fragile and needs to handled with care.

General rule of thumb–know your target audience. In the animal kingdom, you do not see zebras reproducing with monkeys. Know your type in terms of looks, personality, goals, interests, etc. Do not date a partier if that is not your thing, do not date a bore if you need personality and do not date a religious zealot if you never want to step foot in a church. You will just be wasting your time and will likely be doomed from the start. Guys (and people as whole) really just do not change much.

Blind Date Etiquette

Young couple sharing a glass of red wine in restaurant

Q: Is it okay to bring up my past relationships?

A:  No Ex talk! No one wants to hear about other dudes and ladies on a date, especially your “Ex’s”.  People get intimidated when a man or woman talks about another person they have never met.

Q: Who should make the first move after the first date?

A:  Let the Guy Make The Call. Never contact a guy after a first date…that’s his job! If you call him first you will always be the one who chases him.

Q: What should I wear on my first date?

A:  Sexy Not Slutty- Remember that a guy’s fantasy of your naked body will make him chase you to the end of the earth. Allow his imagination to run wild by wearing something sexy not slutty.

Q: Is it okay to talk about the future on a first date?

A:  Live in the moment.  Don’t talk about the future with your date. Nothing scares a guy more than a girl assuming he will want to hang out with her in the future.

Q: If I like her, when should I ask her out again?

A:  If you know you like the woman, before the first date ends, you should ask her out on another date.  You have to hug and at least kiss on the cheek at the end of every date. You have to end it warmly.

Q: How long should a first date last?

A:  You must spend no less than one hour on your blind date.  Lori insists you do not leave your date after 15 minutes even if you think it’s not going well. Open your mind to giving it ONE hour of your undivided attention and energy.