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Online Dating Genius: The Age Liar

Online Dating Genius: The Age Liar

Online Dating Genius: The Age Liar

So let’s talk about our next greatest pet peeve on online dating websites:

Lying About Your Age.

We get it: you’ve gotten older, you’re single, and you have those great pics from last decade and they’re so much better than that one from last weekend.  So what’s your solution? To get on a dating website, lie about your age, and post old pictures of yourself to snag the matches you really want. Who wouldn’t love a 32 year-old with the relationship wisdom, maturity and experience of a 44 year-old anyway? Problem is though, now you’re kind of a big, fat, liar too…

The question is – what’s your plan? You find a special someone you’re really interested in online, the conversations begin to flow really well, and then they want to meet you in person…remember? Do you end up telling the truth or do you just cut out, and move on to the next match, trapping yourself in an eternal online dating black hole? Either option will not bring you any closer to your goal of finding that special someone who loves you for you. Isn’t that why you decided to date online in the first place?

If you decide to tell the truth before you meet, you have created a very sour taste in the mouth of your potential true love – before your first official impression. “If they lied about this, what else could they be lying about??” Even if they give you the chance…they will be so focused on your looks for your age that it would take a miracle for you feel comfortable enough to be redeeming.  If you decide to tell the truth (or never tell the truth) much farther down the road…all we can say is good luck to you.

Suggestion: Try being real from the start (Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind, right?) and then invest in some high-quality, professional  online dating photos. (No, it does not look like you are trying too hard and yes, it has proven to work extremely well.)  If you are finally taking the plunge into the online dating world, be honest.  Be honest with yourself and with those on the site. No one wants their time or money wasted, and no one wants their preferences disregarded. Do you?

Unfortunately, you’ll never find that special someone if you are lying from the start about your age and misleading about the way you currently look. Besides, if you looked that great at 32, you probably look fantastic at 44! Embrace who you are and learn the ways to present a package that people can’t refuse. Confidence is the sexiest reported characteristic in dating. If someone doesn’t like you for your age, then you shouldn’t like them for their opinions.

So, if you’re still thinking about going old school in your profile, think about how annoyed you’d feel if you thought you were going on a date with one of these two:

Screen Shot 2016-03-14 at 12.33.52 PMScreen Shot 2016-03-14 at 12.30.53 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And one of these two showed up…
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(Meanwhile, some other people would thrilled to land of date with one of these two and now you’ve wasted everyone’s time. Anyway, they’re both taken.)

If you want to know which profile photos to use, or the best way to highlight great qualities about yourself in your online profile, call Project Soulmate’s online dating experts for answers.

Project Soulmate can make your online dating profile stand out from the crowd. Our profile writing, photography, communication coaching, and account management services can actually make this whole “finding the love of my life online” thing fun! Our professional matchmakers are always available and willing to help, just Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask away!

Check out these Online Dating Genius previous posts: The Offspring Pic, The Bathroom Selfie, The Height Exaggeration, and The Hot Chick In Your Pic.

Find more good stuff here: Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

Emily Stovall

Emily Stovall is our powerhouse Marketing and Business Management Intern.

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant and the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate.

We are happy to answer questions for interested, prospective online clients regarding common online dating woes and what we can do for you and your online dating accounts.

What Not to Do: Bad Dating Advice from RomComs

RomCom’s ya gotta love em… right? I mean how could you not, they are cute, funny, and end happily ever after! The downside to these great movies is that they are incredibly unrealistic!! Here’s a list of a few of the best romantic comedies with the advice they give, and with the advice you really want from the Project Soulmate Love Experts:

1.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“Forgetting Sarah Marshall” – Jason Segal, Mila Kunis, and Kristen Bell it’s like the perfect trifecta, but it’s definitely not the perfect advice.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s Advice: Follow your ex-girlfriend to Hawaii, meet a perfect new girl, but then still sleep with your ex-girlfriend to “for sure” no you’re over her while hurting the perfect new girl you met in the process.

Project Soulmate’s Advice: Don’t jump into a new relationship until you are definitely over your last. It saves a lot of people from getting their feelings hurt!

 

2.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“Bridesmaids” – Kristen Wig and Maya Rudolph, need we say more?? The movie is absolutely hilarious, but in terms of relationships and friendships… It’s probably not the best movie to get advice from!

“Bridesmaids” Advice: Get super jealous of your best friends new engagement that you ruin each engagement party, and pretend like the one guy trying to help you is making things worse

Project Soulmate’s Advice: Talk it out. Talk to your best friend about your frustrations, and talk to the new guy in your life. This way they both know why you might be acting crazy or flipping out on them!

 

3.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“Ten Things I Hate About You” – A freakin’ Classic! Heath Ledger (love) and Julia Stiles make a great match, but there were some definite humps they had to go through before the happily ever after couple you see at the end…

“Ten Things I Hate About You” Advice: Agree to go out with the “loser” sister for money just so another random guy can go out with the “popular” sister. Ah don’t you just love finding out that the guy dating you is only doing it for money?? Me too!!

Project Soulmate’s Advice: When a seemingly random guy is all of a sudden super into you… do your research. And if in the end, you do find out he had some ulterior motives, decide for yourself if they are something you could get over.

 

4.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“Knocked Up” – Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogan make an unusual couple, but it seems to work… of course this is just a movie. Which leads us to the super unrealistic advice viewers get from this movie…….

“Knocked Up” Advice: Get drunk, sleep with someone, decide not to use a condom, get pregnant, but decide the two of you can work it out in the long run.

Project Soulmate’s Advice: First of all, probably just always wear a condom for a random late night hook up. Second of all, don’t think just because you got pregnant with a random hookup you guys need to force a relationship. Sometimes the best mommy-daddy relationships are ones where the mommy and daddy aren’t even together!

 

5.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“The Proposal” – Honestly any movie Sandra Bullock is in is a win for me, but it doesn’t always mean they’re realistic and I take all my dating advice from it.

“The Proposal” Advice: Avoid getting your citizenship forms completed until you are (almost) forced to be deported back to Canada. Then decide to marry your assistant just so you can keep your job and stay in the country. Genius!

Project Soulmate’s Advice: Keep your visas and all other forms required up to date, so you aren’t forced to marry someone you barely know just to remain in the country. Try going on regular dates before jumping into a proposal!!

 

6.)

Bad Dating Advice from RomComs“Her” – Probably one of the weirdest movies I’ve seen in a while, but Scarlett Johansson does make a great computer voice!

“Her” Advice: Avoid real-life dating at all costs. Don’t even socialize or have sex with real-life people because a computer can give you everything you need.

Project Soulmate’s Advice: GO ON DATES. MEET REAL PEOPLE. PUT YOUR COMPUTER AND OTHER ELECTRONIC DEVICES DOWN AND ACTUALLY TALK TO REAL PEOPLE. Wow sorry, just really passionate about the fact that if you want to actually meet someone to spend your life with, you need to actually dedicate some real life, quality time to those people; and maybe give people a chance that you wouldn’t usually.

 

Moral of the story: Don’t ever stop watching Romcom’s because they offer some needed comic relief to a tough thing we call “love.” Just remember to not take everything they say or do seriously!

 

Emily Stovall

How to Find the Cheater

How to Find the Cheater

Have you been noticing some shady things your boyfriend’s been doing lately? Like changing his pass code… deleting texts… or even blowing off plans? Well I know you might not want to admit it, but your boyfriend sounds like a cheater.

The absolute worst thing to happen in a relationship, is to find out your significant other has been cheating on you. So wouldn’t you like to find out sooner, rather than later? Project Soulmate thinks so. We think you shouldn’t waste your time on someone who is clearly not as invested in the relationship as you are. We know most people are genuine, and not cheaters, but on the off chance that you happen to be dating a scummy-mc-scummers, our relationship experts have come up with some clues for you to look out for.

Let’s start with some obvious red flags: you notice he’s been deleting text messages. I’m not talking about if he’s been doing this the whole time you’ve know him, and he’s just doing it to save space; I’m talking about the guy who has recently started. And for some reason, he really doesn’t want anyone seeing these mysterious text messages. Obviously we don’t condone “snooping” because that shows a lack of trust and disrespect for personal privacy, so our love experts suggest that maybe the first thing you should do is to ask him upfront. If he answers quickly, and doesn’t seem nervous, then I’m sure you’re fine; if not, though, then you might’ve found yourself a cheater.

The next obvious is that they are frequently blowing off plans. Your boyfriend/girlfriend should want to spend time with you, and hopefully in a healthy relationship, they should want to spend about as much time with you as you do with them. So even if he’s not cheating, and is just blowing off plans because he’s “had enough of you for the week,” it’s probably time to dump him anyways. But, if he is cheating, blowing off plans is a definite sign. He might have some great excuse, but more than three or four times seems a little fishy to me. Start asking the real questions like a blunt “Are you cheating on me” and see what he can come up with.

How to Find the Cheater

Sometimes it’s not so easy to see, though, so then you get dragged along in a yearlong relationship only to find out from a friend who saw him out with another girl last night. We don’t want that to happen, I can already see the embarrassment of finding out that way, and it’s killing me. So if you’re already starting to feel like he might be cheating, but you aren’t noticing any “obvious” signs, maybe pay attention to some of these… The first is that out of nowhere he seems to be caring a lot more about his appearance when he’s going to work or just going to hang out with friends. This could mean he’s been buying nicer clothes to wear, or has even begun working out a lot more to get his body in shape. Another sign might be that he has started being overly attentive towards you or started giving you gifts unexpectedly when he’s never done that before. This can sometimes be a sign of guilt, and he’s trying to balance out the fact that he’s been cheating.

The best advice Project Soulmate can give you if you feel like your man or your girl is cheating on you is to ask them upfront. You can get a lot from their answer just by how nervous they may get, how quickly they may try to change the subject, or even if they try to immediately put the blame back on you. If you are feeling “iffy” about your relationship, whether it’s because your significant other is cheating or not, maybe the most important thing to do is to look at the big picture and realize that a happy, healthy relationship won’t have any doubts at all and it could be time to move on.

If after checking out these clues, and unfortunately discovering your significant other has been cheating, then don’t worry. The world is not over, and I can promise you there is someone else out there willing to treat you like the queen you are. Project Soulmate is just here to help you weed out the bad cookies, and to help you find the good ones. Relationships are our forte, and happy, healthy ones are our favorite!

 

Emily Stovall

Online Dating Genius: Cool Vacay, But I Don't Care

Online Dating Genius: The Travel Pics

Welcome to #6 of Online Dating Genius: A blog series brought to you by the online dating experts at your favorite NYC Matchmaking Service, Project Soulmate! Each post we will reveal another “do-not” in the world of online dating.

As usual, if you online date, you will relate!

Online Dating Genius: Cool Vacay, But I Don't Care

So, what is on the agenda this week? Hopefully not uploading too many pictures from your vacation to your online dating profile.

Picture this: the girl of your dreams has just gone through about 20 different online dating profiles, and after reading what each had to say about themselves (yes guys, females actually read every word), 8 stick out most and you made the cut! Problem is, on paper all 8 of you seem pretty similar because you each fit the criteria she entered into the search bar. Now she has to determine who she really wants to meet. How will she go about doing that? The same way you make that decision, from the photos! Luckily you have already passed the hard part – a really well written profile – but will she find you attractive enough? Will your pics make or break her decision?  Here is where your one-too-many vacation pics become a huge problem for your online dating profile.

Sure we all think your 30 day excursion to Hong Kong was awesome, you seem very worldly and fun to be with and we’re all really jealous, but (1) stop rubbing it in, and (2) did we really need 20 pics of your trip while we still barely know what your face looks like?! Are you offering Hong Kong itself? You can see the problem here. The tiebreaker between Other Guy and You has just been broken and you lost. Girl Of Your Dreams could not figure out what you look like and to make matters worse, now she thinks you are weird for posting all those random pics.

We’re not saying cut them out completely; sometimes they give your dating profile a little character and can set you apart. Just limit them to maybe one or two and ideally, you are in them. If not, include a caption about why that moment stood out to you. Show her who you are.  Either way, you must have a variety of good pics of yourself in the mix.

In the future, try to keep in mind that this is a dating website and not a social media website or Trip Advisor. People are looking for a potential date and often for the love of their life, not a travel agent. Why not show off all of your favorite vacation pictures after you and your new date get a little closer? Impress her by “friending” her on Facebook where she can look at your travel pics all she wants!

Don’t let these common mistakes discourage you, though. We know how tough online dating is, but there are so many other strategies that actually work in your favor. Covering your profile with vacation pictures is simply not one of them.

Project Soulmate is able to offer you helpful tips to make your online dating profile stand out from the crowd, and through our assistance with profile writing, photography, coaching, and account management services we make this whole “finding the love of my life” thing a piece of cake. Our professional matchmakers are always available and willing to help, just Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask!

Check out these Online Dating Genius previous posts: The Offspring Pic, The Bathroom Selfie, The Height Exaggeration, and The Hot Chick In Your Pic.

Find more good stuff here: Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

Emily Stovall

Emily Stovall is our powerhouse Marketing and Business Management Intern.

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant and the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. She is happy to answer questions for interested and prospective online clients regarding common online dating woes and what we can do for your online accounts.  

Relationship Advice: Is Long Distance Worth It?

Long Distance

Long distance… is it really worth it? Unfortunately I find myself asking this question way more often than I should. See the problem is, I have always stood by the idea that long distance will not work, but low and behold… I am in a long distance relationship right now. This has led me to question things like “what makes mine different,” or “why do I think mine will actually work;” and it made me realize certain factors that I think can help decide if long distance is really worth it or not.

I’ll start by explaining why I think long distance is not meant to be and why I believe it will not work. The main reason is because long distance means you completely lose the physical and tangible affection and enjoyment spent with a person when the relationship is solely connected by a phone or video chat. I think one of the best and most important parts of a relationship is the physical attraction felt by two people, and the pride each person feels when they get to be seen in public with their significant other. In a long distance relationship, however, it completely takes that aspect of a relationship away. I know it can be difficult to actually find love in NYC sometimes, so you don’t want to let it go, but after reading this hopefully you’ll be able to make the right decision for your relationship and maybe consider looking to some professional matchmakers for help!

So, with that in mind, here’s what you should think about if you are deciding whether or not to go on with this long distance relationship

The first factor is whether or not the relationship began on long distance or if it became long distance. If it is the first, meaning your entire relationship from talking to actually dating has been long distance, then I’m sorry I don’t think it is worth it, and it won’t work in the long run. Why? Because, whether we like to admit it or not, people are fake. I think if you are looking to actually settle down it is crucial to see how a person lives, but if youLong Distance have never even stepped foot on the front steps of their house, let alone even been inside, then you really cannot make true judgments on this person. You are unable to tell how they are in public, how social they are, or how smelly of a person they are and these are essential in determining the success of a relationship.

If your relationship was not long distance from the start, but became it due to some outside factor such as work or school (like me!), then I believe your relationship might have a chance! That’s right, I said might and the reason for that leads me to the next factor. This factor is whether or not you guys have set a deadline for each other. As I have stated before, I believe a physical connection is important, so the option of just remaining long distance forever after this point is not a good choice, in my opinion. I think it would be very beneficial for your relationship if you set a time frame, maybe like a year at the most, that can give you each a chance to determine if you can move to each other or if you should just move on from each other.

The last factor is travel. I’m sure this is a common occurrence while dating in New York, but sometimes people do not realize the problems it can have on a relationship. The issue is that Yay you have finally found Long Distancelove in New York, but now you’re not sure if it is working due to all of this travel for work. If your significant other seems to be traveling so much that you are beginning to feel out of touch with each other, perhaps you should ask if you could go with them every now and then. Do not interfere with their work, obviously, but studies have shown that going to sleep together every night can actually lead to a longer and healthier relationship, so try and make that happen! If you are not allowed to travel with them, then try to at least make their times back home very special. But, if these changes do not seem to be helping, then it may be time to cut your losses and move on.

It’s the hard truth, and sometimes the best choice is not always the easiest, but it has to be done. There are so many people in this world that if you can’t find a good guy, I know a couple people that can help… You might have heard of them… does Project Soulmate ring a bell?

Emily Stovall

Online Dating Genius: The Not-Your-Baby Pic

Welcome to #5 of Online Dating Genius: A blog series brought to you by the online dating experts at your favorite NYC Matchmaking Service, Project Soulmate! Each week we will reveal another “do-not” in online dating.

If you online date, you will relate.

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Let’s get real for a second, okay? What is your intention when making the decision to upload that photo of you and that cute baby into your online profile? You do know that you’re on a dating site, not your facebook page, right? So why did you think that this random baby would make an important impression upon 100’s of strangers; a small fraction of whom you might be interested in dating?  

We think we get it. You want kids? You are great with kids! Babies love you, thus your matches will love you, too! You will make a great parent someday, therefore highlighting you as more desirable than other matches lacking random not-their-baby pics.  

No? We’re way off?  Ok we’ve got it…you think that cute baby makes you look cuter? It works at the party/beach/park like a charm. You walk around with your friend’s adorable baby and all the singles you hoped would notice you earlier, now flock to you and say “Oh she is sooooo cute! Is she yours?” To which you coyly reply, “No, she’s my buddy’s, but she loves me more,” to which they laugh, breathing a sigh of relief and immediately notice how cute (and available) YOU are!

Whatever your reason, it doesn’t typically play out this way on the other end of the digital dating world. It generally looks more like this:

“Wait, I thought he didn’t have a kid? Ugh, I bet has a kid but didn’t want to say so since he’s never been married.” (Click back button, other match suggestions pop up, new match suggestion looks pretty cute, click new match suggestion.) Yeah, people don’t always see your captions.  Sometimes it plays out like this: “She’s cute but this pic of her with her sister’s baby probably means she’s really wants a baby, too.  I’ve met too many women in a rush.” (Click to next match)

We know dating online can be a downer.  You’re just trying whatever you can to stand out, attract the right person, catch a break.  Everyone is in the same boat; we hear these complaints daily and have seen all that your probably go through during one of our past online dating client sessions. Whether it’s a male or female client, younger or older, with or without kids…everyone has their valid gripes.

There are many great strategies to dating online successfully. However, using a random baby that’s not your baby to attract someone isn’t one of them. Hence, the Not-Your-Baby photo choice is a DO NOT in online dating profile photo selection.  

Project Soulmate offers more than expert matchmaking in NYC. We can help you decide on the best photos for your online dating profile.  We also offer professional profile writing, photography, coaching and account management services for your online dating accounts. Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask!

Coming soon… Photos With Friends…and more! Stay tuned!

Check out these Online Dating Genius previous posts: The Offspring Pic, The Bathroom Selfie, The Height Exaggeration, and The Hot Chick In Your Pic.  

Find more good stuff here: Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

Jane Rudes

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant as well as the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with interested prospective online clients about their online profile and other common online dating woes. 

Online Dating Genius

Online Dating Genius: The Hot Chick In Your Pic

Welcome to #3 of Online Dating Genius: A blog series brought to you by the online dating experts at your favorite NYC Matchmaking Service, Project Soulmate! Each week we will reveal another “do-not” in online dating.

If you online date, you will relate.

Online Dating

You’re better off without her.

How exactly does this chick help your online dating success? Did you think that women will find you more attractive because you have a female friend / sister / x-girlfriend that is a 10? Or is this your way of saying “women less hot than this chick need not apply”?

Whatever your reason, it does not work out in your favor. Most women rate male online profiles containing photos of themselves with other women as less appealing because they assume he is hooked on his X, a player (especially when it’s you and a group of chicks), an “in the friend zone” type of guy, or undesirable to these other women in your photo for some good reason. Your pics with chicks are pointless. If you look that good in it, crop everyone else out. In fact, data has shown that online profiles using photos that include any friends or family get less clicks, messages and replies than those using only solo pics.

If you want women to find your online dating profile more desireable, use a photo where you’re looking away from the camera – maybe a candid of you playing a sport or an instrument, one when you are dressed up but not posing, for example; speaking at an important event. It’s that suit and tie or even just that in-command appearance that does it for women online. The idea (not necessarily the image) that others are listening to you, viewing you as leader or even just a guy that can do something really well – is what makes women tick and then click.

Leave room for her to imagine – particularly imagine herself with you.   Bottom line guys – chicks in your pics are a do-not.

Project Soulmate can help you decide on the best photos.  We also offer professional online dating profile writing, photography, and expert matchmaking services for your online dating accounts. Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask!

Coming soon…Age Fibbing…and more! Stay tuned each week!

Find more good stuff here:

Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

Check out these Online Dating Genius previous posts: The Bathroom Selfie, The Height ExaggerationThe Offspring Pic, and and The Not Your Baby Pic.

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant as well as the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with interested prospective online clients about their online profile and other common online dating woes. 

 

Online Dating Genius

Online Dating Genius: The Bathroom Selfie

Introducing Online Dating Genius: A new blog series brought to you by the online dating experts at your favorite NYC Matchmaking Service, Project Soulmate!  Each week we will reveal another “do-not” in online dating.

If you online date, you will relate.

Online Dating Genius

The Bathroom Selfie

Gentlemen, you may think you look great that day. Maybe you do. Problem is – women are much more likely to notice your background bedroom mess and be turned off by the unwarranted glimpse into your bathroom, than be turned on by your “hot” look.

Data shows men who include photos of themselves looking away from the camera get more responses. Just ask a friend to take a candid of you at the beach, when you’re dressed well for work or while going out at night. If you’re alone, at least use the timer on your smartphone cam. The mirror is not your friend! Get out of the bathroom…and the bedroom. Always be mindful of your background.

Relationship experts say that most women click away from male profiles that include selfies. Especially shirtless selfies. Worse…shirtless bathroom selfies. This strategy can negatively imply a lot about you. Women online often perceive men who use selfies as shallow, lonely or not confident enough to ask someone else to take their photo. You should aim for pics that highlight your personality and your hobbies. A great matchmaking tip is to include a minimum of one clear headshot, one candid with a nice smile, a clean-cut full-length picture of you dressed more formally and one shot taken while doing something you love. Mirror pics and shirtless selfies will backfire for men when it comes to dating women online, so bottom line guys…selfies are a do-not.

Written by Jane Rudes

Did you know that Project Soulmate offers professional photo coaching and management services for your online dating accounts? Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask!

Up next…Kids in your pics, photos with friends, height or age fibbing and more!

Stay tuned each week and find more good stuff here:

Check out these Online Dating Genius previous posts:  The Height Exaggeration, The Offspring Pic, The Hot Chick In Your Pic, and The Not Your Baby Pic. 

Find more good stuff here: Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant as well as the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with interested prospective online clients about their online profile and other common online dating woes. 

 

Choosing The Perfect Matching Service For YOUR Love Life

HOW TO CHOOSE THE BEST MATCHMAKER FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE

2012-12-20 postDating Interview: As Matchmakers We Represent You with Lori Zaslow & Jennifer Zucher
see the original MyTreat interview here

Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher are the duo behind, Project Soulmate, one of Manhattan’s premier matchmakers for elite singles. They were also the stars of the Bravo TV reality show, Love Brokers. Today we were able to track them down and pick their brains on the world of matchmaking.

 

How does Project Soulmate, your professional matchmaking service, work? What’s the process like when someone comes to you and says “help me find someone”?

Our client base is made up of commitment minded men and women from the New York tri-state area and South Florida who have put their love lives in our hands; our database is populated with individuals who are looking for their other half and our process has a proven track record of success.

The first thing we do is meet with them, get to know them and see if there is a mutual connection. We want to make sure we are in sync and that we can find what they are looking for. We want to make sure our expectations are in line.

Sites like eharmony have long surveys they make people fill out and based on computer algorithms they figure out who matches with who. What’s different about how you guys approaching making matches?

Not only do we make people fill out a short questionnaire, we actually meet people one on one to learn about them, what they are looking for and we work together. There is no algorithm to love!

A lot of people like to play matchmaker whether they are good or not at it. What makes a good matchmaker?

Someone who is a great listener, unbiased, nonjudgmental, listening to what you have to say while learning what you need, who has a network different from your current network. People can’t be everywhere at once, so it’s our job to be at places where you can’t be…we represent you.

What should people be looking for in a matchmaker if they are considering using a formal one?

Someone who is in their city or town, feels you like connect with so they can commit to helping you, look for references and referrals. Someone that is open with you and doesn’t over promise.

How much matchmaking is actually coaching versus just finding them the “right” person? Does it ever happen where someone says they want XYZ in a person, but it turns out what they say they want isn’t necessarily good for them? How do you handle those situations?

We guide our clients, not coach our clients. We offer feedback and tell you what the other people really thought about you without a filter. We have an open rapport where we take on clients that we express; we listen to their needs and wants. When they start dating, they realize on their own, that XYZ personality traits might not compliment theirs. In the situations that things don’t work out our job is to handle it, we are hands on.

What do you think is biggest reason why people have trouble finding the right mate?

They think they are open and they are not. Also, not making love their first priority.

Connect with Lori or Jennifer:

Site: https://projectsoulmate.com
Company Twitter: https://twitter.com/ProjectSoulmate
Lori’s Twitter: @LoriZaslow
Jennifer’s Twitter: @JennZucher

Top 10 Dating DO’s and DON’Ts by Project Soulmate

From the founders of Project Soulmate, Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher

1. Be positive and warm. Always smile. Do not be a Debbie Downer and check out when you are not feeling chemistry as it can come back and haunt you later. It is a small world and everybody knows everybody. Be your own PR person, because you never know if he will introduce you to his brother, cousin or friend. You always want to leave a good taste in someone’s mouth about you.

2. Be present and discuss. Nothing too deep. Ask about his hobbies and interests and keep it light. Do not interrogate a guy and act like a private investigator (where are you from, what do you do for a living, etc.). Never talk about the future because it will guarantee no future. Examples are getting married, kids or inviting him to a wedding in 6 months when you barely know each other.

3. When you are having a great time, do not stay too long. No more than an hour and a half should suffice because too long will turn into too much information and too much alcohol. Leave him desiring to see you again. Always leave on a high note. When things are going good– exit. If there is a connection he will pursue you.

4. Be thoughtful and initiate a plan. It is ok for a woman to plan a date, just not the first date. Do not always expect a man to do everything. He is not your father; he is the man you are dating. Men want love, attention and someone to be thoughtful as well.
5. Compliment a man. If he looks good and smells good, tell him! Everyone wants to feel good about him or herself.

6. Men are visual creatures. Dress sexy not provocative. A little leg and a little arm never hurt, but do not go overboard and send the wrong message. Leave a little to the imagination.

7. After a great date you can send a thank you text, but that is it! Do not smother a guy and over pursue. No one likes desperation in a woman.

8. Do not drink too much. Two drink maximum ladies! Any more, you become sloppy and no one likes that. A turn on is someone that can hold their own and still carry on a conversation.

9. Guys cannot stand a girl that is too chatty and catty. It is an automatic turn off. Another turn off is girls that nag. They like a girl that can hold a normal conversation and not just talk about other people.

10. Guys do not like when you compare your relationship to another. They do not want to hear about your friends and their relationships. Just remember, the male ego is fragile and needs to handled with care.

General rule of thumb–know your target audience. In the animal kingdom, you do not see zebras reproducing with monkeys. Know your type in terms of looks, personality, goals, interests, etc. Do not date a partier if that is not your thing, do not date a bore if you need personality and do not date a religious zealot if you never want to step foot in a church. You will just be wasting your time and will likely be doomed from the start. Guys (and people as whole) really just do not change much.