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Will he go the distance?

When embarking on a new relationship, the question is posed.. where should you meet? Relationship Experts Lori and Jenn suggest meeting at a location that is as close to an equal travel distance as possible. This will allow for a neutral location and start the date off on an even playing field. If you come all the way to him, it will eliminate the chase.

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Men love the chase. If a woman travels all the way to the man (especially for the first date) the man will not have to put in ANY work. This could lead to you being much more interested than he is. Does this sound like something you would do? Think about past relationships… were you the one making all the decisions and consistently in charge? It’s time to let this old habit go and let the man lead the way. This will set the stage for a healthy relationship.

If he comes all the way to you… congrats, this guy could be a keeper. It’s important to remember that you ARE worth their time and energy. If they are willing to travel an hour downtown to meet you, let them. This shows commitment right off the bat. It will set the tone for a good potential relationship. However, there is nothing wrong with returning the favor later on down the road. As I always say, relationships are a two way street. If you are blindly meeting someone online or unsure about this person, make sure you meet halfway so there is no option to come back with you.

So you’ve figured out the area… Now where should you meet?

Meet up for a quick drink! You will know on first sight if there is chemistry there. If it isn’t, this quick date will make it easy to leave if you aren’t feeling it.
Grab a bite to eat and have dinner together, go enjoy the changing of the seasons with a walk around the park! Anything that will allow for stimulating conversation is a good choice. Going to the movies or meeting to go to a friends party will not truly allow you to see if a connection is there.

     Dating in NYC can be hard, especially with subways, taxis, and traffic involved. However, keep in mind that if both people put in the effort to make a relationship work, there is a much greater chance that it will end in happiness! Who knows…. your next date could be your soulmate!

 

BY: LILY DOERFLER

How To Learn From Every Date

“We met for a reason, either you’re a blessing or a lesson”

happy date

Everyone who walks into your life can teach you something new. Although dating takes time and effort, we can learn from each date we go on. We learn our preferences and what we can tolerate, and we discover things about ourselves that we wouldn’t have known if we didn’t go on that date with the guy in the band who wouldn’t stop talking in lyrics and brought a sandwich to the bar in his backpack…

This applies to bad dates and past relationships. When we meet someone we automatically try to figure them out. We make judgments based on first impressions but there is so much more to a person besides their clothes and hairstyle. Going on dates teaches you to be more open and willing to get to know people for who they actually are before writing them off. Also, going on dates opens you up to new restaurants, activities and cool bars that you would not have know about if you hadn’t gone on the date. And, if the date was bad, you now have a new spot to bring all of your friends next time you want to change it up.

We can also learn a lot from failed relationships, whether they ended on decent terms or it was the World War III of breakups, there is always a silver lining. And I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s true. When you go through a horrible breakup, you reflect on all the things that went wrong and the way things should have been handled. Regardless of whether it was your fault or your significant other’s, you now know how to handle those issues in the way you wish you had.

No matter how toxic or how simply uninterested you were, you learn what you like and what you don’t like, what you want and what you don’t want, and what’s important and what’s not important. You learn about yourself and there is nothing more valuable.

The phrase goes, you have to kiss a few frogs before you find the one. And that one may be right around the corner. So take the date! Unless there is a blaring reason not to, have an exciting night out with someone you just met. You just might actually find a keeper in the crowd.

By Alexia Chicles

First Date Do’s & Dont’s

Embarking on a first date can be can be scary sometimes, regardless of if it’s a blind date or one that’s been set up by relationship experts. It can mean something as small as grabbing drinks or as extensive as a five course meal. Whatever the date may be, following these steps are a surefire way to make a great first impression.

 

Do:

Listen. As my grandfather used to say, “you’ve got 2 ears and one mouth for a reason”. This applies to everything in life, especially first dates. People love to talk about themselves and asking the right questions can really open a person up and start a great conversation. No one wants to be interrupted or feel like that can’t get a word in. Relationships are a two way street, give and take. The same goes for conversation.

Put your phone away. Whether you are texting, calling, or simply checking your phone for the time, you’ll make your date feel unimportant. So instead, wear a watch to keep track of time and let your friends know that you can’t be reached during those couple of hours so you wont be tempted to answer.

Wear something comfortable. And no, this does not mean jeans and a t-shirt. Make sure that the outfit you pick out is one that you’ve tested out before. Wearing 6 inch heels that make it impossible to walk are probably not the best choice.

Get excited. It’s not everyday that you get to dress up a bit, take advantage. When you see them, make sure to smile so they know you are happy to be there. Nothing makes a man feel great like a beautiful woman who is interested in him.

Bring your manners. Hopefully they’ll also bring theirs and open doors for you. Please and thank you’s can go a long way in life.

 

Don’t:

Assume that they are buying. Never forget your wallet at home. Even if they do pick up the tab (and in my opinion they should) not bringing a wallet could leave a bad impression. Also, if they want to split the bill and you have no money, things could get awkward, fast.

Get drunk. Sloppy first dates rarely lead to second ones. Know your limits so that you don’t end up drunk. Drinks are fun to have so you loosen up a bit, just don’t come unraveled.

Ask about exes. The reason you are on a date is to get know someone new, not to talk about your past. Exes can bring up bad experiences and can leave your date thinking that you are stuck in the past.

 

Above all, be yourself. Confidence is the most attractive quality a woman (or man) can possess.

BY: LILY DOERFLER

Top 3 Mistakes Men Make On The First Date

Celebuzz featured Lori Zaslow of Project Soulmate back in 2012, discussing mistakes men make on their first date which can prevent them from finding “the one”.
(see the original article here)

Lori Zaslow believes that love is as essential to living as air. On Bravo’s reality series, Love Broker, the matchmaker helped men understand how to make their best first impression in order to snag that all-important love match.

“They definitely improve,” Zaslow tells Celebuzz of her clients who listen to her advice. “If they took the skills and the feedback and were able to implement it, even if it wasn’t like sparks everywhere, at least they knew maybe how to act a little more present or put their best foot forward or smell better or whatever the situation was, and they took the advice.”

Of course, before love can happen, men have to get the all-important second date. Zaslow clues Celebuzz’s readers in on the three biggest mistakes men make on first dates – take a look at her list below.

1. Not being present. “They’re on their Blackberry, or they’re thinking about work, or thinking about a past relationship, rather than just being in the moment,” Zaslow explains.

2. Giving up too soon. “Men really do work outside in and they’re much more visual creatures, which is fine and fair,” she points out. “But I think sometimes, they don’t give a second chance like a woman would. They cut it off right then and there. And sometimes I see with my clients, the minute the attraction’s not there, they can’t give that kindness and positive energy to the date.”

3. Giving in to fear of rejection. “[Men are] so much more afraid of rejection that they don’t always respond with their emotions,” the Project Soulmate co-founder tells us. “So, they might not let a girl back. For instance, right now, I have a client that’s like, ‘You know what, I emailed her Sunday and I waited until Wednesday and texted her.’ Why would you wait? That’s three or four days, another guy’s going to get right in there and that’s it, she’s off the market.”