Welcome to another installment of Online Dating Genius: A blog series brought to you by the dating experts at your favorite NYC Matchmaking Service, Project Soulmate! Each post we declare another “do-not” in online dating. If you online date, you will relate. This time, we are addressing the major controversy over that pic of your kids.
Ok let us open the floor to the most contested topic we face…Dating profile pics of your kids. The answer is very simple. No, no, no! The number is ZERO. We are also especially talking to you, the one who thought all those extra pics of you and your kids in your dating profile was going to help. The only place your kids belong in your online dating life, is at home with a sitter or your ex while you’re on a hot date. Listen up – most dating apps and online dating sites have a way for you to indicate if you have children and whether or not you are open to dating someone with children. Fill it out. That is enough info.
Why no kids
You need to take baby steps. First, focus on attracting someone to YOU. Then of course screen them…make sure they are right for you. If you are choosing wisely, “right for you” should be good for your family. If you are dating smart, the part where they meet your kids will be a long way down the road. Bringing kids into the picture (or into your dating profile pics) too early invites unwanted assumptions and judgements about you, your previous marriage, and your kid-situation. Those adorable pics of your kids do nothing but plant these seeds into the heads of your future dates. Keep them focused on you and only you.
What to do
So what should be included in your profile pics? Anything that highlights the attractive parts of YOU. Are you fit, fun, sexy, reserved, conservative, kind, talented, a leader, a philanthropist, a cultured traveler, a clown? Whatever you are, your online dating profile is your ad, and you are the brand. Viewers should get a feel for your personality. They should learn more about what you bring to a relationship. They should see reasons they may want to connect with you. Remember, you can design your profile to target and attract a certain type of person that you desire.
There are many useful photo and writing strategies for shining amidst the fog, but including your kids in your profile photos is NOT one of them.
Project Soulmate can help you choose the best photos for your profile. We also offer professional dating profile writing, photography, online dating and dating app coaching and expert matchmaking services using your own online dating accounts.
Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant as well as the Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with interested prospective online clients about their online profile and other common online dating woes.