The Online Genius: Pics with Pets

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We asked NY singles what their top pet-phobias are and this is what they had to say.

  • Owning a cat

 Despite all of the cat popularity online these days, many singles are saying no to cat lovers. Maybe it’s because cats are portrayed as evil in cartoons. Or maybe it’s because cat-loathers are jealous of their nine lives. Whatever the reason is, a cat in your online dating profile is a huge DON’T!

Women with cats are often labeled as crazy cat ladies. Meanwhile, men with cats are a complete miss with single NY women. Women believe these men are weird AF. Our suggestion is to limit the publicity your cat gets especially if you’re online dating. Despite all this cat popularity online these days, many singles are saying 

  • Women who treat their dogs like humans.

Dressing your dog up for Halloween, buying special treats for your his birthday and including your dog in the family Christmas cards are gestures both your canine and society, will deem acceptable. But there is a certain line to be drawn. There are a number of New York City dogs groomed like A-list celebrities. The worst is when dogs are carried around in a stroller. Truth be told, your chances of actually meeting a sugar-owner are generally quite low, but if you live in the Big Apple you’ve definitely seen a pet in a Chanel handbag. This type of overindulgence might cost you a date or two.

  • Men and women with more pictures of pets than of the owner

You know the feeling when a parent wants to document every moment in their newborn’s life. Imagine if their baby could never grow up to tell them to stop being annoying. This is how everyone feels about your ‘baby’. Your dog is cute and all but people will stop caring after a while, and start thinking you’re just plain crazy. If you’re going to post pictures of your cat all day long, our experts suggest making her a separate Instagram account for her pics (people love that) – and to keeping them out of your dating profile.

Although there are pets with successful careers as wingmen, some pets will actually ruin your chances of finding love. When dealing with online dating it’s best to mention that you have a pet in your bio, but focus the rest of the profile on yourself. Let them fall for you first and then they’ll stay for your pet later, I promise.

Written by Christina Madera

Christina Madera is our hilariously bright Business and Communications Intern.

Did you know that Project Soulmate offers professional photo coaching and other management services for your online dating accounts?

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant and our Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with any interested, prospective clients about our online dating services and answer questions about online profiles or other common online dating woes.

Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask!

Find more genius advice by checking out some of our other Online Dating Genius posts like:  

The Height Exaggeration, The Offspring Pic, The Hot Chick In Your Pic, or The Not Your Baby Pic and more!

Find more good stuff here: Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

Gift Ideas For Your Significant Other

 

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas so prepare your wallets to give your date the best gift ever. Here are a few grand slam ideas to make your significant other love you forever:

For boys: Treat him to tickets to his favorite sports team. Boys love sports because sports= beer and tailgating. What better way to celebrate than with his favorite hobbies. This way he can enjoy something he loves and with someone he loves.

Ticketmaster.com

Give him the gift of time with a new fossil watch. You want your man to look nice for you, give him an accessory he can use for multiple occasions, like going to work or going out with his friends.

Sold in store’s at Fossil

Spice things up by giving him Dior Cologne, its a masculine scent that is superb for men who admire the smell of cologne. It’s known for being simple, sophisticated and pure.

Purchase at Macy’s

This holiday always make sure your man look fresh and is clean shaved. You can’t bring home to the parents looking like a grizzly bear. Check out the mancave’s original man’s grooming kit sold in stores at Target.

Treat your man to something more intimate with a personalized gift. This holiday give him a personalized whiskey barrel, with its peak flavor it’s aged to fulfill his taste buds to perfection.

Find at Brookstone

For the girls: A night out on the town in The Big Apple with dinner and followed by ice-skating at the Rockefeller center. Treat her to a fancy dinner and a hot chocolate while you skate around the tree.

Show her how much she means to you by defining the relationship with a Tiffany bracelet or pair of earrings. Give her this lavish gift that she can show off to her friends. This simple gesture that will remind her of you every time she wears it.

Find at Tiffany & Co

Coco Chanel perfume is a fruity floral scent that is light and fresh. Allure her senses with the gift of enchantment.

In store’s at Macy’s

Winter is a harsh time for dry skin, especially dry hands. With the Philosophy handbook set you can’t go wrong. It’s accessible and comes in travel size so it’s easily reachable. This way you always have a soft hand to hold.

Find in Ulta beauty store

Women love to wine. It comes in various brands and predominately in two broad colors, red and white. Now the dilemma becomes whether to carry it or use a picnic basket. However there’s a resolution for that, with this reliable spill proof wine caddy. It comes in lively colors and holds up to two liter bottles of wine.

Purchase at proof caddy spartina449.com

 

 

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WRITTEN BY: Holly Kiffer

Which Dating App is Best for You?

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Online dating apps thrive off of this never ending cycle of familiarization. You have to get to know someone virtually before you get to know them personally. Liking, messaging, meeting…the whole 9 yards. But even before you get to know him, you have to get to know the dating app. *Sighs*  

Our love experts have reviewed the top dating apps so you can quit trying to figure out the apps and start finding love:

  1. Tinder is a great app to use if you have a tight schedule. It’s very simple to use as most dating apps are. The app allows you to sign in with your Facebook account and once your location services are on you’re ready to start swiping. To the right means you like them and to the left means you’re uninterested. If you’re interested you can click on the profile picture and below it will display ‘common connections’ aka the mutual friends you share so that you can traditionally stalk him or her by asking your friends what they know about “Jack, 21.”
  2. Coffee Meets Bagel is ‘the’ app for introverts. It asks for some information upfront including ethnicity, height, occupation, and hobbies so you don’t have to. One thing that makes this app unique is that it requires an explanation of what you’d appreciate in a date. This helps narrow down who you’re compatible with even before connection. The app will also send you a bagel each day which is a strategic match based off of your interests. This app gets to know how you like your coffee first so that can meet your bagels with ease.
  3. Bumble is the app for the modern woman. On Bumble, only women can make the first move and initiate conversation.When the woman swipes right (similar to Tinder) she has 24 hours to message the guy or she will lose the match. If he does not respond to her message within 24 hours the match is also lost.  This definitely speeds up the process of getting to know a potential. However, it may filter out potential male dates who may not like the idea of waiting for a message.
  4. Happn has a more relaxed vibe. You can only see the profiles of people you’ve crossed paths with in the real world. You will only be able to message each other after you’ve both ‘liked’ each other. This makes breaking the ice easier because you will be able to share experiences you’ve made at the mutual location. Maybe it’s your favorite restaurant or his terrible date.
  5. Howaboutwe is for those looking for more face-to-face contact and less digital dating. The selling point is that you have to describe your perfect date scenario (a walk on the beach or a dinner and a movie) to create an account. From there you can use their play page which gives you a fun way to find dates. One ‘game’ on the play page is the “speed date.” This simply means you will be presented with other user profiles and date ideas and you have to select yes or no (similar to Tinder’s swipe right or left). Another interesting feature is Tonight, which lets users pick date ideas in real time in hopes of encouraging impromptu dates.

With all of the dating apps available, it can be difficult to pick one that’s right for you. Since most of the apps are relatively safe, millionaire matchmaker Jennifer Zucher suggests testing out a few and figuring out which app will best satisfy your individual needs.

 

Written by Christina Madera

Can a relationship with a flirt work?

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We all know the best way to get into the Halloween spirit is with a scary story. Here’s mine: Girl falls for a flirt – the end.

 

Whether you think flirting is when he likes her pictures on Instagram or when she laughs too loudly at his jokes, one thing is for certain: There is no universal definition for ‘flirting.’ Seriously, try looking up ‘flirt’ on any search engine. What you’ll find is its textbook definition and pronunciation. What you’ll miss are the negative connotations associated with the word. Cheater, sinner, dog.

 

Today, we associate flirting with feelings of jealousy, anger, and irritation. Describe your lover as a “flirt” to anyone in your circle and watch as they convince you your relationship has 7 days to live.

 

Millionaire Matchmaker Lori Zaslow says flirting will not ruin a relationship and here are the reasons why:

 

Flirting does not always mean there is attraction.

Some people flirt for 5 seconds of attention and then move on. Others flirt to chase the rush they get when interacting with someone new. I flirt for free drinks (and I know I’m not the only one). The truth is everyone flirts; from married adults to children. Flirting is a natural thing and it’s meant to be casual and playful.

 

If your potential partner-to-be enjoys a good flirt session every now and then it’s fine. That does not mean that they find another woman more attractive than you or that you’ve lost your touch. Stop overthinking it: Flirting is just flirting.

 

Flirting can be a good thing.

Flirting makes you feel good and boosts your self-confidence. Think about how bomb you feel when a woman notices you’ve been working out. It doesn’t matter if the woman is your best friend’s 65-year-old grandmother. A genuine compliment will not only spark up a conversation but it will make someone’s day as well.

 

Studies show that flirting is healthy for you. It is said that positive initial impressions caused by flirting releases dopamine into our brains.

 

Flirting is not cheating.

Flirting will never be cheating. There are only two types of people that confuse flirting for cheating:

 

  1. To the overly jealous uber sensitive type: You consider nearly everything as cheating. Messaging other men, dancing with other women, and even having friends of the opposite sex. You are ruining your relationship because you jump to conclusion the minute you get a flirtatious vibe. Unfortunately, there does not exist a single person walking on this earth that won’t flirt. If you can’t deal with innocent flirting then you should stay a bachelor(ette). The harsh reality is if they tell you they don’t flirt, they either don’t know when they’re flirting or they’re a good liar and definitely flirt behind closed doors.

 

To avoid losing your relationship to insecurities get to know your partner better. If you know your SO personality well enough then you will easily be able to tell when they are only flirting. You should trust that your partner would not cheat on you just because they can.

 

  1. The disrespectful type: You consider nearly everything to be flirting. From hidden sexual innuendos to physical and inappropriate touching. These things are not flirting they’re gross. You are ruining your relationship because you’re flirting with the idea of being single. You are just touching the boundaries line when you should be far from it. Your actions are making your partner doubt you and you’re sending mixed signals to those who you’re “flirting” with.  

 

To avoid losing your relationship don’t do this. No one deserves to be disrespected especially not by the person they respect the most.

 

So the answer is yes! A relationship with a flirt can work because everyone is a flirt. As long as you know your partner and trust them, flirting should not be an issue to sleep on the couch over. The only way flirting will ruin a relationship is if you let it. Flirting is just flirting.

 

Written by Christina Madera

Online Dating Genius: The Sunglass Psycho

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Once upon a high school, I had a crush on this boy named Brendon. He was just my type; tall, athletic, and smart. A true triple threat that I couldn’t get enough of. I loved everything about him from his dirty gym sneakers to his worn out baseball cap he never took off…or so I thought. One afternoon after practice, I caught a glimpse of him as he was walking out of the locker room, as he always did – except this time without his favorite orange and blue ‘Bulldogs’ cap.

I learned a very valuable lesson that day; never trust anyone who is wearing a hat. I learned to stay away from “those kind” at a young age, however, as I grew older those kind started evolving. Hat-wearing was replaced with something even more disguising – sunglasses.

What’s so sinful about wearing sunglasses you ask? Everything.

Wearing sunglasses can make you appear unapproachable. Although many may think celebrities sport their designer shades everywhere to look cool, this isn’t really the case – having a million dollars already makes them look cool. Celebrities wear them because they actually don’t want to be approached, and that’s okay. Unfortunately, you are not famous and being approachable is a quality you’ll need when applying for jobs – and especially with online dating.

Wearing shades can cause you to look, well, shady. What are you trying to hide? A few crows feet? Dark circles? We all have our list of imperfections, but when online dating it is better to have full disclosure about your appearance than to try to hide your insecurities. Either way, if and when the person behind the screen chooses to meet with you for coffee, they’re going to discover who you really are. Best to not waste anyone’s time, and avoid looking like an “A-hole”.

Wearing sunglasses in your profile picture is equivalent to adding too much filter in a photo:

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Now, I’m not saying that you must remove sunglasses before all pics, nor that you don’t have the right to dislike how you look underneath those shades. Beach photos, barbecue pics, baseball game memories; share all of that with us. We want to know you’re a fun person that protects your eyes when necessary. Just don’t choose a shot with sunglasses on as your profile picture. Choose one where your eyes are visible and you’re smiling, preferably. Make the first impression count.

Research shows that eye blockage in a profile picture can decrease your likability by -0.36. It only takes one click for anyone to move on to that next profile. Everyone knows the portal to one’s soul lies within the eyes. Covering them may be blocking true love from finding you. Free the pupils!

Written by Christina Madera

Christina Madera is our hilariously bright Business and Communications Intern.

Did you know that Project Soulmate offers professional photo coaching and other management services for your online dating accounts?

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant and our Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with any interested, prospective clients about our online dating services and answer questions about online profiles or other common online dating woes.

Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask!

Find more genius advice by checking out some of our other Online Dating Genius posts like:  

The Height Exaggeration, The Offspring Pic, The Hot Chick In Your Pic, or The Not Your Baby Pic and more!

Find more good stuff here: Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

 

Online Dating Genius: The Impossible Checklist

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We all know an impossible checklist person. You click on their online dating profile and instead of beginning with a casual introduction, they bombard you with their list of deal-breakers.

  • Can’t have too many tattoos
  • MUST love dogs
  • Part Zebra
  • 6 feet tall (no exceptions)
  • Needs to know how to pronounce ‘worcestershire’

You see what I’m getting at here.

These kind of people are annoying for many reasons. I could write a list about it but I would hate to be put in the same category as a listomaniac.

Compulsive list makers are successful in the workforce and in the grocery aisle. However, lists are inadequate in dating, especially in the online dating department. The problem is that you just can’t plan out love online like you plan out a To-Do list.

In essence, having an idea of core qualities you would like in a partner is not a terrible thing. For instance, everyone can agree they’re looking for someone funny, smart, and attractive. Three key qualities – just three – and yet with 7 billion people in the world it is still difficult to even find someone who embodies this trinity of characteristics, especially while dating online. Add any more qualities to this list and you’ll have better luck finding Waldo.

Having overly specific “wants” can be equally as bad as having a long list of requirements. Take this list of core qualities for example. If you’re looking for someone funny but with a dry sense of humor, someone smart but who graduated from an Ivy League university, and an attractive face but with a side of six pack abs… Your only option left is James Franco and he is clearly not on match.com! As your lists become longer and more precise, your list of potential online dates shrinks. This is because as you’re being particular about hair color, occupation and music taste, you’re losing many chances to meet great people who just don’t fully meet your impossible idea of “perfect”.  

Is your list even for yourself? You rarely know what to order at a restaurant, yet you know exactly what you want in a partner? Try again. If you’re creating this list in hopes of finding someone to impress your parents or to one-up your ex, remember it’s you who is going to end up unhappy and deprived of love.

Bravo matchmaker Jennifer Zucher knows that lists are impractical and promote unrealistic expectations. “Your friends have qualities you like and qualities you dislike, yet you still work great together. Why? Because you enjoy the moments you spend with each other and you don’t dwell on your differences. Honestly, what if your millionaire match is a cat person instead of a dog lover? Is that fraction of their personality enough to disqualify them entirely? You are the reason you’re single. If you’re looking for someone who is 100 percent your perfect match, date yourself! No one on this planet is perfect and if you want a one of a kind love you need to let go of the list and let love lead.”

Written by Christina Madera

Christina Madera is our hilariously bright Business and Communications Intern.

Did you know that Project Soulmate offers professional photo coaching and other management services for your online dating accounts?

Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant and our Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with any interested, prospective clients about our online dating services and answer questions about online profiles or other common online dating woes.

Click here for more info!  Or Contact Us and ask!

Find more genius advice by checking out some of our other Online Dating Genius posts like:  

The Height Exaggeration, The Offspring Pic, The Hot Chick In Your Pic, or The Not Your Baby Pic

Find more good stuff here: Twitter: @projectsoulmate   Facebook: Like us!   Pinterest:  Project Soulmate

 

What makes a Good Wingman

wing manIf your best friend has ever shoved you right into your crush, you have been part of the wingman movement.

They’re at your local bars, clubs, even that hipster coffee shop on the corner. Wingmen walk among average New Yorkers just waiting to volunteer as tribute for a friend in need. She has an ugly friend? Get yourself a wingman. You’re a little shy? You know who to call.

Being a wingman is often a rite of passage into brotherhood. But can having a wingman actually get you a girl? Matchmaking expert Lori Zaslow has the tips to help you wing maneuver  your way into a woman’s heart.

Who? A wingman is like a television host. They must be gregarious, charismatic, and full of positive energy. Not everyone can be behind a TV screen, likewise not old friend can be a wingman. A good wingman has to have an unflagging determination to help you score. Whether this means distracting her other friends, interfering when other guys trying to land the same girl, or stepping in during the awkward silences.

Your wingman must also reflect who you are. If your wingman is much more attractive than you are, the girl you’re eyeing might fall for your buddy instead of you. If your wingman is unattractive, then the girls may walk away from him before he even introduces you. It sounds harsh (I know) but in order to have a successful chance you need a wingman who is equally as attractive.

Why? There are many added benefits to utilizing a wingman. Even for the most confident stud, having a wingman is an advantage over going out solo. Women often go out in groups and stick by each other for most of the night. Success during a girls night out can be laborious and often impossible without any backup. A good wingman will take the difficult task of breaking the ice so that by the time you waltz in everyone is in a good mood.

A wingman can help keep the flow of the conversation going by adding parts of a story you may have missed. He or she should also try to make you look good, but in a subtle way. For instance, instead of saying how great of a guy you are, a good wingman would reference a time where you went out of your way to help a friend.

How? Your wingman is there to give a pep talk when needed and ease an introduction, however, the rest is up to you. If you are not confident enough to speak for yourself, you will always miss your chance. Approaching a person for the first time is not always the easiest task. But, by keeping a positive mindset before and during your interaction you can release some of the stress that comes from getting to know someone and enjoy the conversation. 

It is easier to approach women when you have a wingman willing to take the loss with you if you get denied – and if you’re dating in NYC, you know this is not a rare occurrence. Having a wingman can only help you get a girl if both of you are confident and cool – it can’t be solely one of you playing the game.

So the answer is yes! The wingman thing still works fellas, you just need to find the right ‘bro’ to take to the bar.

 

Written by Christina Madera

 

Three ways dating sites could end catfishing

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Whether it’s fake profiles or older pictures; the catfish epidemic is not showing signs of death anytime soon. It’s just too easy to lie on social media and there seem to be little repercussions for those who do so. Although social media websites were intended for connecting with friends, family members, and other people you’re already familiar with; it has increasingly been used for stranger-to-stranger connections especially when speaking of online dating sites. How can online dating sites potentially put an end to catfishing or at least severely decrease the phenomenon? Project soulmate has some words of advice to the dot-coms of dating.

Up to date vlogs
Yes, video blogs! Asking members of a dating website to add quarterly vlogs of themselves in their most natural habitats would help determine which profiles are hoaxes. If you love the outdoors show some video of your latest hike. These vlogs could be a short minute or two. While pictures can be saved or screenshot, you cannot save videos from Instagram, Snapchat, or Twitter. If a picture is worth a thousand words a vlog will surely trump that.

Attach social media accounts to the dating site
It’s the easiest way to spot a fake account. If you google search the name of the user you’re interested in and no other social media accounts are found, this could be a red flag. Or worst, you search them and a facebook account with a small number of followers shows up….not a good sign either.
But, why should you have to do all of this FBI work in the first place? Most people on online dating sites just don’t have the time to meet people in person. So you most definitely will not have time to stalk every potential date you come across. Online dating sites should ask to link all other social media accounts to their websites so that users could get comprehensive views of each other and to avoid possible catfishing.

Putting a limit on messaging
A lot of the commercial matchmaking sites have already been using this strategy. You need to pay for their membership before you can message a user. However, mobile dating apps have not yet followed the trend. Simply, limiting the number of messages sent per user could be valuable in the fight to end catfishing. Someone who is serious in finding love would not be messaging over 25 accounts in a month. They would want to review a user’s photographs and bio’s before deciding whether or not to connect. Online dating is not a shopping spree, anyone choosing quantity over quality may be a scammer.

Unfortunately, catfishing can never be completely eradicated. There will always be people pretending to be someone they are not. If the dating company or app you’re using isn’t protecting you from getting catfished, maybe it’s time to speak to a professional matchmaker.

Written by Christina Madera

The Benefit of the Doubt Syndrome

sad imageIf you’re anything like I am, you understand that sometimes being the bearer of bad news just comes with the title of a best friend. It is your job to give your friend clear warning signs; detour, do not enter, or dead end, to keep them safe from any unpredictable partners. Subconsciously, we follow traffic signs because we know disobeying the law can result in a ticket. On the other hand, we knowingly ignore guideposts and go on dangerous routes in pursuit of love that eventually costs us more than just money. How can we spare ourselves and our girlfriends of any collisions? Let us, the best matchmaking service in NYC, educate you on how to read a man and how to avoid falling victim to the “benefit of the doubt” syndrome.

If you’ve ever had continuous suspicion, unquestionable doubt, or have treated your man’s claims with skepticism, congratulations you’re a woman. A woman can naturally sense when something is off. You can just feel his love withdrawing. He’s starts acting different but you brush the idea away and pray his blase attitude passes with it. Instead of being straightforward and questioning him, you want to use environmental factors to reason with his distance. He hasn’t called me all week because he’s really busy. He only kissed me once today because he’s stressed out.

This is where the problem starts. You’re making all of the excuses for him so he doesn’t have to. Giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Ladies, the only person too busy or too stressed is the president and he still makes time for the first lady. Women work, and cook, and clean, and workout, and go to school, and raise children. If a person is interested in you nothing, not even an air-tight schedule, will stop them from wanting to spend time with you.

So he says he wants to spend time with ‘the boys’. The truth is he probably misses his friends. Truth also is he probably doesn’t miss you if he uses this excuse every weekend. His friends are a priority and you are not. I’m sorry to say this baby girl, but you need to let this man go.

Maybe he tells you that he’s not ready for anything serious. If he just got out of a serious relationship, then this is probably an honest response. If he hasn’t been in a relationship since his high school days, then you’ve probably got yourself a commitment phobic.  In this situation, a benefit of the doubt girl will assume that she can wait him out. You may want to believe that eventually he’ll want a relationship despite his aversion to commitment. But, the sad reality is not that he doesn’t want a relationship. It’s that he may not want one with you.

Or has he stopped texting you all together? Did his phone die or did he? So many women give their guy way too much credit. This my friends is the universal sign of denial. If days have gone by and he has yet to respond, I guarantee he’s read your message. No response is a response too. It means he’s just not that into you.

Now, I’m not saying that all men are shady. You can definitely still find great men when dating in NYC. Just be vigilant ladies. Some men will puppet you around until you catch on to the signs. Project Soulmate says all women have a six sense: a sense of consciousness, and we should not ignore it when we have any doubt of devotion. If you feel something is off it may be that something is actually off. It’s no wonder people say your mom is always right!

It’s no wonder people say your mom is always right!

 

Written by Christina Madera

How to Separate the Boy in Boyfriend

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I’ve never liked the word boyfriend. In other languages, for instance, Spanish, your special someone would be referred to as novio (“boyfriend’) rather than amigo varón (male friend). This clear distinction denotes a romantic relationship as more serious than your typical friendship.  Don’t misunderstand me, it’s great to think of your mister as your friend. Without friendship, no romantic relationship can persevere. The real problem with the word is that it begins with boy. No professional woman should be dealing with a dependent boyfriend. Is it safe to assume that what begins with a boy will end with a man?

It starts off with the family.

If you are dating, seeing, sleeping with a “boy” you’ll know it. He’s an adult child. He looks the part of a man but inside all you get is a pubescent boy who forgets all of his responsibilities. He feels that you should cook the meals and clean the way his momma does. His mom did all of this things because she loved him so shouldn’t you do the same?

No.

In some cultures, mothers baby their sons because… Well because they were raised that way. The girls are all in the kitchen while the boys are watching a sporting event on television. The wives are the last the enjoy the meal because they have to serve the plates for their husbands and all of their children.

No.

This worked when women did not work. If both parts of the couple equally contribute to the finances of the house than both should equally work to maintain the household. High-end matchmaking company, Project Soulmate says relationships should be 50/50; if she cooks, he should clean the dishes.

It continues with you.

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So you’ve started getting serious with this man-boy. It started off very casual. First, he asked you to call him to wake him up for work. You replaced his alarm clock but you love hearing his sleepy voice so you didn’t mind at first. Then randomly asks you to do his laundry and you do it anyways because he’s so friggin cute! Before you know it you’re the wife of a ‘boysband’ because never learned how to say no.

The bad habits he learned at home do not have to continue into your relationship. ‘Adulting’ isn’t easy or fun but we do it because we have no other choice. If he won’t do a chore because he doesn’t know how to, then you should encourage him to learn. Professional matchmaker Jenn Zucher recommends taking cooking lessons with your man and assigning a day in the week where he will be responsible for cooking. If he’s lazy, persuade him with a prize at the end. Children need to be bribed with candy so there’s no surprise that a boyfriend might need some motivation as well.

Just because we are nurturing beings doesn’t mean we should let someone take advantage of us.

It ends with him.

You can’t wave a magic wand and turn a boy into a man. As an adult, he has to make the decision to grow up on his own. It’s all about compromise. A man who is your true millionaire match will want to alleviate your stress even if it means doing something he doesn’t particularly like. The only thing we can do as women is to teach our future children to provide for themselves so they won’t have to rely on anyone.

It’s one thing to help a man pick out an outfit and it’s another thing to organize his entire closet. Guide your man, don’t be his guardian.

 

Written by Christina Madera