Top 3 Mistakes Men Make On The First Date

Celebuzz featured Lori Zaslow of Project Soulmate back in 2012, discussing mistakes men make on their first date which can prevent them from finding “the one”.
(see the original article here)

Lori Zaslow believes that love is as essential to living as air. On Bravo’s reality series, Love Broker, the matchmaker helped men understand how to make their best first impression in order to snag that all-important love match.

“They definitely improve,” Zaslow tells Celebuzz of her clients who listen to her advice. “If they took the skills and the feedback and were able to implement it, even if it wasn’t like sparks everywhere, at least they knew maybe how to act a little more present or put their best foot forward or smell better or whatever the situation was, and they took the advice.”

Of course, before love can happen, men have to get the all-important second date. Zaslow clues Celebuzz’s readers in on the three biggest mistakes men make on first dates – take a look at her list below.

1. Not being present. “They’re on their Blackberry, or they’re thinking about work, or thinking about a past relationship, rather than just being in the moment,” Zaslow explains.

2. Giving up too soon. “Men really do work outside in and they’re much more visual creatures, which is fine and fair,” she points out. “But I think sometimes, they don’t give a second chance like a woman would. They cut it off right then and there. And sometimes I see with my clients, the minute the attraction’s not there, they can’t give that kindness and positive energy to the date.”

3. Giving in to fear of rejection. “[Men are] so much more afraid of rejection that they don’t always respond with their emotions,” the Project Soulmate co-founder tells us. “So, they might not let a girl back. For instance, right now, I have a client that’s like, ‘You know what, I emailed her Sunday and I waited until Wednesday and texted her.’ Why would you wait? That’s three or four days, another guy’s going to get right in there and that’s it, she’s off the market.”

Choosing The Perfect Matching Service For YOUR Love Life

HOW TO CHOOSE THE BEST MATCHMAKER FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE

2012-12-20 postDating Interview: As Matchmakers We Represent You with Lori Zaslow & Jennifer Zucher
see the original MyTreat interview here

Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher are the duo behind, Project Soulmate, one of Manhattan’s premier matchmakers for elite singles. They were also the stars of the Bravo TV reality show, Love Brokers. Today we were able to track them down and pick their brains on the world of matchmaking.

 

How does Project Soulmate, your professional matchmaking service, work? What’s the process like when someone comes to you and says “help me find someone”?

Our client base is made up of commitment minded men and women from the New York tri-state area and South Florida who have put their love lives in our hands; our database is populated with individuals who are looking for their other half and our process has a proven track record of success.

The first thing we do is meet with them, get to know them and see if there is a mutual connection. We want to make sure we are in sync and that we can find what they are looking for. We want to make sure our expectations are in line.

Sites like eharmony have long surveys they make people fill out and based on computer algorithms they figure out who matches with who. What’s different about how you guys approaching making matches?

Not only do we make people fill out a short questionnaire, we actually meet people one on one to learn about them, what they are looking for and we work together. There is no algorithm to love!

A lot of people like to play matchmaker whether they are good or not at it. What makes a good matchmaker?

Someone who is a great listener, unbiased, nonjudgmental, listening to what you have to say while learning what you need, who has a network different from your current network. People can’t be everywhere at once, so it’s our job to be at places where you can’t be…we represent you.

What should people be looking for in a matchmaker if they are considering using a formal one?

Someone who is in their city or town, feels you like connect with so they can commit to helping you, look for references and referrals. Someone that is open with you and doesn’t over promise.

How much matchmaking is actually coaching versus just finding them the “right” person? Does it ever happen where someone says they want XYZ in a person, but it turns out what they say they want isn’t necessarily good for them? How do you handle those situations?

We guide our clients, not coach our clients. We offer feedback and tell you what the other people really thought about you without a filter. We have an open rapport where we take on clients that we express; we listen to their needs and wants. When they start dating, they realize on their own, that XYZ personality traits might not compliment theirs. In the situations that things don’t work out our job is to handle it, we are hands on.

What do you think is biggest reason why people have trouble finding the right mate?

They think they are open and they are not. Also, not making love their first priority.

Connect with Lori or Jennifer:

Site: https://projectsoulmate.com
Company Twitter: https://twitter.com/ProjectSoulmate
Lori’s Twitter: @LoriZaslow
Jennifer’s Twitter: @JennZucher

Listen up Ladies! 5 Things Men Wish You Knew

 

Corporate eventWe’re always wondering what’s going on inside our guy’s head, but thanks to Shape Magazine, we may finally know the answer.

Interviewing over a dozen guys between the ages of 19 and 56, Shape got the scoop from men across the dating spectrum. Married, single and divorced, doctors, NFL players and music industry professionals—you name it, they asked him.

Bet you’re curious about what these men had to say! Well..

#1- When it comes to gift giving, as much as we would love to be surprised by our favorite Gucci handbag under the tree this Christmas, it’s just not going to happen.

Unless, of course, you help your man out! 32-year-old Richie Frieman says, “[If you don’t] give us a hint or just flat out tell us what you’d like, you are most likely going to end up with something unwanted.” His wife can certainly attest. Richie gave her tickets to a wrestling match for their anniversary because “she said she liked sports.” Oops!

#2-They get jealous too!

Not many men will admit this right off the bat, but according to NFL Linebacker Thomas Howard, “We don’t like when you’re laughing too hard at another man’s jokes.”

#3- Looks aren’t everything.

Haven’t we heard that one before? That’s because its true! Men and women can agree that physical attraction is only part of—a very small part of—what makes a relationship successful.

“If I want to be in a relationship with somebody, I need to have a deeper connection with them than just the physical. The best thing that a woman could do to attract me is to be herself.”—This is coming from pretty boy Aaron Carter, child superstar.

#4- Shopping isn’t so bad.

While your man may whine about going to Pottery Barn, most of the time he really doesn’t mind a trip to the mall or running a few errands. In fact, Celebrity Trainer Lalo Fuentes says, “We actually like going shopping with you…as long as you let us pick out your outfit.” Bribery goes a long way, ladies!

#5- They get insecure too!

We may get made fun of for spending so much time worrying about how we look, but as it turns out, men are just as self-conscious as women…especially at the gym. 34 year-old Chuck Hughes confesses, “At the gym, men…check themselves out in the mirror just as much as women do.” So the truth comes out!

2012-12-18 post pic 2

Thanks for reading!

Xoxo,

Olivia Poglianich & the Project Soulmate Team

To find out even more of these honest hotties had to say, visit http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/14-things-men-wish-women-knew?page=1.

Project Soulmate on Blog Talk Radio

2012-12-18 post 2

Sometimes finding that special someone seems to be impossible. This is when you bring on the best in Matchmaking in the team of Bravo TV’s Lori Zaslow and Jenn Zucher, collectively they are the founders of Project Soulmate.

Lori and Jenn  serve as great entertainment. Not only are they outspoken and prepared to discuss the fabulous and not-so-fabulous aspects of love, but their contrasting opinions are sure to entertain all. Between Lori’s tongue-in-cheek comments and Jenn’s directness, they are a dynamic duo ready to take on any question thrown their way. Nothing is too risqué or over the top.

Tune in to hear how its done.

www.projectsoulmate.com

Listen in and get many important questions answered during this detailed interview with Project Soulmate: Bravo’s Love Broker, Lori Zaslow and her business partner Jenn Zucher are featured on the UCW Radio Show, with the wonderful Louis Velasquez

Listen to internet radio with Louis Velazquez on Blog Talk Radio

Top 10 Dating DO’s and DON’Ts by Project Soulmate

From the founders of Project Soulmate, Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher

1. Be positive and warm. Always smile. Do not be a Debbie Downer and check out when you are not feeling chemistry as it can come back and haunt you later. It is a small world and everybody knows everybody. Be your own PR person, because you never know if he will introduce you to his brother, cousin or friend. You always want to leave a good taste in someone’s mouth about you.

2. Be present and discuss. Nothing too deep. Ask about his hobbies and interests and keep it light. Do not interrogate a guy and act like a private investigator (where are you from, what do you do for a living, etc.). Never talk about the future because it will guarantee no future. Examples are getting married, kids or inviting him to a wedding in 6 months when you barely know each other.

3. When you are having a great time, do not stay too long. No more than an hour and a half should suffice because too long will turn into too much information and too much alcohol. Leave him desiring to see you again. Always leave on a high note. When things are going good– exit. If there is a connection he will pursue you.

4. Be thoughtful and initiate a plan. It is ok for a woman to plan a date, just not the first date. Do not always expect a man to do everything. He is not your father; he is the man you are dating. Men want love, attention and someone to be thoughtful as well.
5. Compliment a man. If he looks good and smells good, tell him! Everyone wants to feel good about him or herself.

6. Men are visual creatures. Dress sexy not provocative. A little leg and a little arm never hurt, but do not go overboard and send the wrong message. Leave a little to the imagination.

7. After a great date you can send a thank you text, but that is it! Do not smother a guy and over pursue. No one likes desperation in a woman.

8. Do not drink too much. Two drink maximum ladies! Any more, you become sloppy and no one likes that. A turn on is someone that can hold their own and still carry on a conversation.

9. Guys cannot stand a girl that is too chatty and catty. It is an automatic turn off. Another turn off is girls that nag. They like a girl that can hold a normal conversation and not just talk about other people.

10. Guys do not like when you compare your relationship to another. They do not want to hear about your friends and their relationships. Just remember, the male ego is fragile and needs to handled with care.

General rule of thumb–know your target audience. In the animal kingdom, you do not see zebras reproducing with monkeys. Know your type in terms of looks, personality, goals, interests, etc. Do not date a partier if that is not your thing, do not date a bore if you need personality and do not date a religious zealot if you never want to step foot in a church. You will just be wasting your time and will likely be doomed from the start. Guys (and people as whole) really just do not change much.

Blind Date Etiquette

Young couple sharing a glass of red wine in restaurant

Q: Is it okay to bring up my past relationships?

A:  No Ex talk! No one wants to hear about other dudes and ladies on a date, especially your “Ex’s”.  People get intimidated when a man or woman talks about another person they have never met.

Q: Who should make the first move after the first date?

A:  Let the Guy Make The Call. Never contact a guy after a first date…that’s his job! If you call him first you will always be the one who chases him.

Q: What should I wear on my first date?

A:  Sexy Not Slutty- Remember that a guy’s fantasy of your naked body will make him chase you to the end of the earth. Allow his imagination to run wild by wearing something sexy not slutty.

Q: Is it okay to talk about the future on a first date?

A:  Live in the moment.  Don’t talk about the future with your date. Nothing scares a guy more than a girl assuming he will want to hang out with her in the future.

Q: If I like her, when should I ask her out again?

A:  If you know you like the woman, before the first date ends, you should ask her out on another date.  You have to hug and at least kiss on the cheek at the end of every date. You have to end it warmly.

Q: How long should a first date last?

A:  You must spend no less than one hour on your blind date.  Lori insists you do not leave your date after 15 minutes even if you think it’s not going well. Open your mind to giving it ONE hour of your undivided attention and energy.